Final Say

A part of me wishes I could stay in the apartment and make love one more time with Ferris. After all, the odds of me leaving the Montreat in a body bag are just as high as ever. Instead I just bug Ferris for a cigarette until she finally hands me her last one. We don’t talk much. I’m trying to think of a plan and Ferris is somewhere else entirely. As it gets darker and closer to midnight, I finally make up my mind. “I’m going to drop the book in a safe deposit box at the Montreat. Then when I finally get up there with the Guild of Nod goons, I’ll buy time until the Paladins can show up and clean them out. They get back the Book, kill the vampires they were originally going to kill, and we both get to come back the shining heroes,” I say. Ferris looks at me and shakes her head. “Heroes? You’re just a reformed murderer to them, Shade. You heard the things they said to your face, I heard the things they said behind your back. They only kept you around for the kid to make him feel better,” she says. I choke up a bit at that. I hate the way that has been happening, getting emotional when I least expect it. “That Book is a gift! It’s power! And with that, being mortal doesn’t have to be so hard. We don’t have to be so afraid. Why don’t we ju-“ she pleads. I slam my fist into the wall and it’s heavy enough to shake it. Too much emotion. “For the last time. We’re doing this. You can either help me or you can walk out that goddamn door. Go back to the Paladins. Go back to the Werewolves. I don’t give a damn. I need to talk to these guys, I need the Book as bait, and nothing is changing that,” I say harshly. She nods and stands to leave. For a second I almost regret it, not wanting her to go. She waivers and then takes my arm. “I don’t understand,” she says without meaning a question. “I don’t really either,” I answer. I pick up the Book and we both head out the door together.