The Vampire Falcon

Last Memory

2008-01-18T13:56:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting with the boys and Dingo has the shakes like a junkie with too much fixed. “Need a slurp?” Sunshine asks. He nods and they both look to me. The night has just started and we're all debating the same thing, Dingo just had to go and get worked up about it. “Lets hit the Heights. The meat is always showered this time of night,” Sunshine comments. I give it a shrug and Dingo looks too hungry to argue. We're on our way. We three vampires, we ran across the rooftops and bounded over the skyscrapers. I could hear a few people below me. They were discussing whether they had just seen me jump by. Fucking meat. We're at the Heights faster than a bird can fly and down on the third floor. It has been ages since I had a good bite myself. I pound on a door with a Welcome Mat on the front. “Flower Delivery!” I call. The door is opened moments later and Dingo is on her like a vulture. A light rap on a door several down, “Video game Delivery!” The door swings open and Sunshine hardly makes a sound. I don't even look behind my shoulder, I just keep walking down the hall. Maybe vary it up, go see another floor. I light a cigarette as I enter the stairwell and take a long drag. “You know those things can kill you,” a voice says behind me. I tense and get ready to make the concerned citizen dinner. The red haze comes over me and things get a bit fuzzy. Night comes onto night and suddenly things go darker than usual.

Sunrise

2008-01-18T13:55:00.002-08:00

When I wake up, the sun is on my face. My first reaction is to keep my eyes closed and try to struggle, because my skin should be on fire right now. The pleasant temperature stuck around and I was having trouble moving. I hadn’t felt the sun on me in forty years. The reaction to not dying immediately because of it was mixed. When I finally took a peep, I see white walls and a window with the curtains mostly drawn. I kinda half smiled and looked down at my arms just to double check. Yup, still alive, still not minding the sun. A glance to my right explains the curious lack of panic that should be in my head with a curious bag of fluids dripping into me. Drugs hadn’t worked on me for years, but I wasn’t too concerned about it. Must be doping me with the stuff in the bag. I enjoyed sunlight & drugs being back in my life for about thirty seconds. Then the music starts. In walks this guy in a white coat with a couple of nurses and it’s all happy to see I’m doing well. They ask me how I’m feeling, if I’m hungry, will I need a bathroom break, on and on while I give them the silent treatment. There’s nothing like people asking you how you’re doing to make you wonder just what the hell they want. And then the music just starts to roar. I’m a vampire, a grade A slurper with all the trimmings, and I’m enjoying a sunny day in a hospital with drugs and doctors. I decide to assume the guy in the white coat is in charge and ask him what the fuck is going on. “Why, haven’t you realized yet? You’ve been cured! You’re not a vampire anymore,” he replies.

First Meal

2008-01-18T13:55:00.001-08:00

The music stops and suddenly breathing sounds like gongs on a subway. The lights are blinking, or maybe I am, and suddenly all I can fixate on is the weird empty sensation in my stomach. I’m hungry. And not wanting a slurp hungry, like I haven’t had a fix in a while and I don’t care about anything else hungry. I’m irritable about it hungry. The doctor starts explaining that there might be an adjustment period as the cure takes effect and the nurse leaves to get me a glass of water. “You might be re-experiencing some biological functions that you haven’t felt in years, decades even,” he says while I start looking around a bit more. I’m not tied or restrained to the bed, which makes me feel better for about a second. I lunge forward to take the doctor hostage only to have all the blood rush to my head and all the energy drain out of me. I haven’t been weak in a long time either. The doctor takes a step back, startled, but he figures out the score pretty fast. “Now, I realize you might not exactly have been expecting this. Our operatives tagged you just before you could take another innocent life. We came upon you quite on accident, Mr. Shade.” I’m all ears as I lay back in bed trying to figure out which the way room isn’t spinning. A knock on the door and the nurse comes back in, a glass of water and a covered dish. “Before we talk more, we’re going to need to get you adjusted back to being human. Perhaps something to eat, something you’re used to?” He pulls back the cover and there’s a barely cooked steak on the plate. For a second I think he’s making a joke.

Days Go By

2008-01-18T13:54:00.001-08:00

And it turns out the joke is on me, because I choke the thing down. The doctor gives me a pat on the back and leaves the room. Days go by like this. Eating turned out to be one of the easier things to get re-adjusted to. When you’re a blood sucker a lot of basic issues go out the window. Taking a crap, for instance. Would you believe I actually forgot how to wipe my own ass? Just never came up after I quit ingesting solids. I complained about headaches for days before I realized drinking water was all I needed to do. I’d been a vampire for about forty years, got tagged in the sixties when things were a bit looser. Thirty years is just enough time to forget what it’s like to have to do the little stuff. The place they were keeping me was some kind of hospital, but there seemed to be only one other patient. Whoever it was, they kept them behind locked doors and told me to stay out. Otherwise, I had free reign around the joint but would get stopped at the front door. It was weird, like they weren’t equipped to have a person like me around. They certainly weren’t pumped about a former vampire being there either. One nurse actually covered up her neck when I walked by. I could’ve ripped the joint apart, had a feast and…well, I could’ve done all that back when I was a vampire. Plus I was a lot weaker, not quite mortal, but still weak by my standards. No one really wanted to talk to me and when I asked what was going on they just said the doctor had ordered me to rest. There were also orderlies in case that answer wasn’t good enough.

Where I'm At

2008-01-18T13:53:00.002-08:00

The couple of nurses and orderlies I see start loosening up after a while. Mostly because I’m around all the time but I don’t think I was going to be invited for tea anytime soon. The mystery patient is still behind locked doors and I’m still getting stonewalled for even looking at the door. Still, people start to talk after they get used to you. I’d kinda forgotten about how to do that, make friends. You get so used to being around the same, non-aging folks that you just kinda quit bothering to meet new people. That or you kill them after a good slurp. I find out the place I’m staying is run by some sort of Secret Church Organization. They all call themselves the Paladins of the Light. What a dumbass name, right? When one of the orderlies was first explaining it to me, he was kinda gloating and showing me these weird tattoos they all have on their arms. I told him I’d been sucking blood for thirty years and never heard of them in my un-life. He actually got upset, the schmuck. I told him I’d heard about hunters here and there but things were mostly status after the vampires started regulating themselves. He didn’t talk to me so much after that. I got the impression this was a bit of a new operation, some sort of business venture in combating the immortal vampires. Most of the people there had just started their jobs but they were all long time members of the Church. Lots of enthusiasm, not much experience. They always wanted to know if I still wanted to suck blood. “Lady, if that was going to do anything except make me vomit now, I’d probably not bat an eye. Just because I’m used to it doesn’t mean I’m going to keep doing it,” I told one nurse who also quit talking to me. I had meant it to be reassuring. Honestly though, I thought about it a couple of times.

Mood Swings

2008-01-18T13:53:00.001-08:00

They kept me cooped up for about three days like that. Just staring at me and letting me wander around. I smoked when one of the orderlies would bum me a cigarette but I didn’t have any cash so there wasn’t much to bargain with. I wasn’t in great shape during that time, physically or mentally. The term ‘moodswing’ comes to mind. At first I’d think everything was cool, I could do this. Then I’d start thinking about…Christ, nothing in particular. Just the hugeness of it all. The worst was when I started thinking about being a vampire though. I dunno, eating meat to stay alive is one thing, but it’s tough to keep that in mind once you’re human again. The justification of it all, once it stops being applicable, things get un-calm. When I was a vampire killing people didn’t really feel like killing…people. I mean, if it had been a vampire I had to slurp, yeah I might’ve gotten choked up before. That was one of my own. That was another immortal being like me. We had eternal life, that’s a helluva thing to rob someone of. That was a dude whose friends, whose family, really expected them to be around forever. Not that I didn’t kill a couple, but I thought about it afterwards. But being human again? Shit man, I’d slurped so many it’d be fair to say I was beyond redemption. I didn’t have to deal with that too much though, it’s not like I could even remember most of the people I’d killed. I tended to black out just before I made the kill, just like I did before I woke up in this goofy hospital. It was a joke that my other immortal friends used to love, that I could never remember sucking blood. They made some good gags out of it, Sunshine and Dingo. Friends forever. Well, that might be different now too.

The Thickening

2008-01-18T13:52:00.002-08:00

It shouldn’t be much of a surprise that after a few more days of this screwing around that I decided the suspense would be a lot better if it killed me. Don’t get me wrong, being human again was swell, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Something about being mortal just took all the motivation out of me. I figured that if I had to die again there wasn’t much point in putting it off. I smoked a cigarette, looped a noose around my neck, and was about two seconds from knocking the chair from under me when the doctor waltzes in. Behind him is a real knock-out, one of the best looking blondes I’d ever seen. She didn’t even gasp when she saw me on the stool, ready to knock it loose. She just kept her stone face while the doctor rushed over and dragged me down. I heard him assure her that I had been very stable mentally up to this point. I told them I was the only stable person in the room and to let me back on the stool. The blonde gets real close to my face and sniffs me. After a second I realize she’s not enjoying a fetish, that she is actually smelling me. The doctor keeps me pinned still but I’m frozen solid and staring straight at her. “Ah, now I can smell the fear. Let him up. Mr. Shade, it’s time you found out you just why precisely you’re not dead yet,” she gives me a toothy grin but I stay stone faced. What the Hell is a werewolf doing here?

Interviews

2008-01-18T13:52:00.001-08:00

They lead me to another room with a table and some chairs. I’m just about to start thinking an interrogation is going down when the doc hands me a slip of paper and the first question on it is for my social security number. “They weren’t kidding when they said this place was new,” I mutter as I sit down and look over the questions. Hometown? Last place of residence? What the fuck was this supposed to be? I must’ve been staring too long because the doctor patiently pulls the paper away, pulls out a pen, and directs my attention to the lovely she-wolf. “Tell me, Mr. Shade, what do you think of the Paladins of Light?” she asked. I tell her I think the name is lousy and ask for a cigarette. To my surprise, she obliges me. The doctor tries out a couple of the resume questions on me instead. “Are you from America, Mr. Shade?” I tell him to write Eastern Transylvania and he’s about to start when I cut him off with a snort. “I’m from Hemingway, South Carolina. It’s about as bumble fuck a town as it gets man,” I explain. “I haven’t been there in decades. It’s just easier to keep the slurps quiet and easy in a bigger city,” I add. The doctor looks at me blankly and I have to explain that it’s slang for murdering a person by sucking out their life force. They all get quiet on that one, but I’m not sure why the she-wolf was so bothered. Her eyes bulged a bit because she keeps that cool face. The more I look at her though, the more I start to notice that she’s a bit too small. A bit too passive for a werewolf, not enough aggression. “I must say, we’re all very pleased with your attitude so far. Most of the other vampires wanted to go out fighting when they realized they’d been cured. It’s nice that you’re a bit more…weak,” she says darkly.

Religous Differences

2008-01-18T13:51:00.002-08:00

“I didn’t know dogs could handle subtlety,” I shoot back. That checks her attitude a bit, but I just played my only ace on a whim. She knows I know. “If you’re referring to Ms. Ferris’ former condition, I would appreciate it if the two of you put your differences aside,” the doctor explains. I glance at him and contemplate actually learning his name, just so I can know who to call an idiot. Werewolves and vampires had never been in the habit of getting along, to put it lightly. Ten thousand years of rape, murder, and slavery on both sides left us enemies by default. And that was back during the good days. “I’ve been around long enough to know she’s not my biggest fan. I got pricked up back in the sixties during the Vampire Enlightenment, so all the zealot nonsense never got stuffed into my head. I don’t have a problem with werewolves if she doesn’t have a problem with me. But I’m not your mortal pal either. I don’t get any more worked up about the people I killed than you do over the cows you butcher for dinner,” I explain dryly. The doctor is still as unphased as ever, but Ferris rolls her eyes. “What is a vampire doing living on the streets with two other hoods? Your whole Enlightenment sect went corporate a decade ago. What’s wrong, they got you working up the job ladder?” I take a long drag on my cigarette and contemplate the cards she’s laid down herself. “I deserted. Got sick of their bullshit. The religious folks, the Nod-worshippers, they tell themselves they have a right to kill people because vampires are chosen by the Gods. Supreme beings and all that. The Enlightenment shuffled all that up by isolating the virus that merges with us and really figuring out what the fuck was going on instead of that magic mumbo jumbo. Thing is, they just say we’re the supreme beings because the virus makes us genetically superior. Same bullshit to justify the same thing: staying alive,” I finish my speech and stub out my cigarette. Ferris offers me another and I accept. “So what do you believe justifies your actions to stay alive, Mr. Shade?” she asks. “I never really needed one until now,” I reply.

Friends from Work

2008-01-18T13:51:00.001-08:00

The Doc asks me what I mean and I remind him that I was about to do the Hangman shuffle when he interrupted me. “Death wasn’t exactly inevitable before now,” I explain. My eyes catch the Doc checking a box next to ‘Depressed’ and ‘Suicidal’ like it might be relevant and I wait for the conversation to resume. It doesn’t, the Doc just keeps filling stuff out. “So…you used to be a werewolf? How’d they cure you? Hell, how’d they cure me? The virus mutates so rapidly I had thought it could adapt to everything but a sunny breakfast,” I ask. They eye one another and the doctor keeps writing. “Alright, scratch the last question. How’d they cure you? Lycanthropy is a bacteria that grows in the lower intestine and is spread through the bloodstream. Did they invent some su-“ Her hand moves far stronger than it looks like it can and knocks me clean to the floor. Looks like I said the right thing. “The blood of Fenrir may not be sacred to you but it is still better than your own disease. You may disdain your own religion all that you like, but kindly keep mine out of it,” Ferris says coldly. Looks like I found Ferris’ number and called it wrong. Damn but she could pack a wallop, cured or not. “If you intend to remain in our service for much longer, then I ORDER you to control yourself, Ms. Ferris!” the Doc shouts. He then turns around and helps me out, handing me a pen while he goes back to the desk. “The way we cured you will be revealed depending on you, Mr. Shade. Whether you believe in the cure or not is of little concern,” he explains. The Doc hands me the forms he has been filling out and points to a signature at the bottom. It says job application at the top.

Employed

2008-01-18T13:50:00.002-08:00

“In exchange for agreeing to work for us, we will provide you with a place to live and a reasonable income to provide for yourself. You’ll be expected to reside in the city, keep regular hours, and be available at all times. Think of yourself as…an extra hand for the Paladins of Light. Someone who can inform us and explain things,” the Doc explains. I almost ask him what’s to keep me from running off before I remember the noose still coiled back in my room. It’s not like I have anywhere to run. “You want me to sell out my own people?” I ask. “You already said you were apathetic towards any philosophical considerations concerning humanity. You’re cured, Mr. Shade. They aren’t your people anymore. What else were you going to do?,” the Doc replies. It’s not like I have anyone to go to either. I can’t even imagine what Sunshine or Dingo would say if they met me as a human. “What’s to keep me from just getting bitten again and going back to it all?” Ferris snorts and pulls out a cigarette for herself on that one. “You’ll find that you are no longer a viable host for the virus, Mr. Shade. I’m afraid the cure is permanent. You’ll understand that soon enough or maybe not, depending,” the Doc answers. A part of me wants to ask what they plan for me to depend on. What the big deal is. But that cold feeling in my stomach isn’t just nausea at needing to eat, it’s real fear. It’s the real idea of choosing between the noose and trying to carve out a living. Trying to be human. I sign the form and hand it back without another word.

Handshakes

2008-01-18T13:50:00.001-08:00

After that it’s all smiles and cigarette smoke as we all get up. The Doc sticks out his hand to shake but I only look at him like he just wiped his ass with it. He sighs. “As you may be noticing Mr. Shade, we’re a very young organization. We’ve only just acquired the means to combat the vampire problem. As you yourself noted, the virus is very powerful and can adapt to almost anything. Except sunlight, naturally,” He motions to the door as he talks and I go out first. In two minutes we’re down the stairs, out the lobby, and going out the doors I was blocked from leaving for the past few days. The light blinds me a little but I get over it quick enough. A glance around reveals I’m in a courtyard with a few other buildings connected by pavement. They even put a fountain and garden into their budget. “Didn’t know landscape decorators liked fighting the forces of darkness,” I mutter. Ferris cracks a bit and gives a laugh as we walk towards another building. “Just out of curiosity, are we exclusively fighting vampires or is this an equal opportunity kill job?” I ask. The Doc looks troubled for a moment and I make a motion to the former-werewolf with great tits. “Ah, I see. Well, that happens to be the source of some dispute within the Paladins of Light. Considering the current…social situation between the two factions, we have decided it best to…,” he’s getting nervous as Ferris loses the smile and gives me a stony look. What the Doc is referring to is the fact that the Guild of Nod, the dominant church of Vampirism, decided to enslave werewolves a few decades ago. Some shit in their Bible, I never read the thing and most of the other Enlightened wanted nothing to do with the werewolves. Kidnapped some important people or something that made the werewolves start working for them. I don’t get much of werewolf culture because, quite frankly, it never came up while I was a vampire. Judging by this little revelation though, apparently they aren’t too excited about being enslaved.

The Cure

2008-01-18T13:49:00.003-08:00

Rather than finish his sentence the Doc just goes ahead and we enter another building. From the moment I step inside it smells like lab. Sterilized equipment, white walls, and rubber stench are everywhere. My nose wrinkles and Ferris puts her hand up to block the smell. If she still has some of her enhanced abilities from the lycanthropy infection, it starts to make me wonder what I might still have as well. Either way, the dull ache in my eyes tells me that the sun still isn’t doing me any favors. The Doc slides his card through a few locks and waves to some nurses as they walk by. They both step around Ferris and I like we’re made of lava. “We here at the Paladins of Light employ a variety of former police and military officers. Many have combat training and are experts with fire arms. Believe it or not, most of them end up finding us as they search for answers to their own investigations,” the Doc explains. Given the number of people I’ve sucked dry and dumped in rivers, I believe him. We get to wherever we’re going and suddenly the whole scene changes. Sterile lighting, men in body armor (with steel neck shields), and what look like heavy machine guns are suddenly all around us. I almost think about telling the Doc there is no way I’m wearing something like that when a guard grabs me and searches me. He does the same for Ferris. The Doc doesn’t get touched. We’re allowed in and proceed down a long hall that looks like hospital and feels like battle ship. “Some of our military members proposed employing more sophisticated security for this section of the facility. After all, it contains the heart and soul of our organization. Mr. Shade, allow me to present the very means of your cure!” We walk up to a double-paned glass window and inside the room I see a guy with a book waving his arms over a pile of ammo and sub-machine guns. I don’t recognize the language he’s chanting in and there are armed guards watching over him while he works. I don’t exactly know what I’m supposed to say. “Well…it fucking figures,” I reply.

The Book

2008-01-18T13:49:00.001-08:00

“How does your science feel now?” Ferris says. I give her a half-glance and roll my eyes. I’d seen vampires grow limbs after missing them for a few days, punch through concrete walls like paper, and even the occasional glowing pair of eyes. There were explanations for it. Not necessarily great ones, but explanations all the same. “It doesn’t feel like anything. Science isn’t a belief. It’s just there,” I shoot back. After blessing the weapons in front of him, the man closes the book and places it in an engraved metal box next to him. “So you’re telling me that those weapons are blessed? As in, unlike a normal bullet, if I shoot a vampire with one of those they die?” The Doc nods but catches himself. “And they can’t regenerate the wound. Frankly, I’m as puzzled by it as you are. Nothing chemically has changed on the weapon, we checked that. And it’s also not a function of the user’s beliefs, because people who have no clue what they’re holding can still use them. The weirdest thing of all, it’s the book itself. You can’t just memorize the words to the prayers, the person has to actually be holding that book,” he says. I consider asking him how they came to all these facts but decide I don’t want to know. They’re not my people anymore. “Mind if I take a look at it?” I ask. Ferris glances at the Doc at that. “No, I’m afraid that’s not possible. That book is the source of the Paladin’s power and the greatest asset we have. Only the highest members are allowed to perform the rituals and blessings. It was a uniquely blessed weapon that cured you, by the way.” The exposition is starting to make my head hurt because of all the bullshit sirens going off. Magic spells? Holy weapons? I was expecting a medical breakthrough, not a read-along from the book mobile. I looked down at my hands and swallowed. Here I was, cured of the uncurable, and pissed off that I didn’t believe in it. How do you argue with what’s right in front of you?

The Vampire Falcon

2008-01-18T13:48:00.001-08:00

The Doc keeps jabbering about the irrefutable proof that this book can do everything from kill vampires to part the Red Sea. It’s the source of Ferris’ cure as well, for the same unexplained reasons. “The only thing anyone can say for certain is that it might have something to do with quantum mechanics,” he finally finishes. He’s gesturing at some photo-copies of archaic diagrams and pointing at some energy x-rays. I haven’t really been listening. The Nod worshippers would’ve been all over this but…I’d always been raised that this religious crap was a bunch of nonsense. That vampires weren’t good or bad, we were just wolves living around sheep. Now some book powered by…God? The Light? Christ, what did this make me back then and in whose eyes? What did it make me now? I’m staring at the floor asking questions people should learn to not ask when Ferris gives me a light shove. “The Doctor is talking to you,” she says stiffly. “I said, Mr. Shade, have you ever heard of a Vampire Falcon?” I’m about to say I’ve also heard of the Big Bad Wolf then I catch myself. Fantasy seemed to be coming true today. “It’s a biological conundrum. Since the vampire virus mutates so rapidly, it’s the hypothetical dilemma that if you could weaken it enough or the person’s immune system was sophisticated enough, they could develop some kind of…balance with it? Resilience? Look, all of this was impossible to me up until I woke up human again,” I explain. Ferris sits down and decides to take over. “Very good, Mr. Shade. A Vampire Falcon is a half-human, half-vampire hybrid. And it is part of the reason we have brought you in and decided to hire you on the force. We have one. And we have no idea what is biologically going on with his body,” she says.

Demands

2008-01-18T13:47:00.002-08:00

My first reaction is to tell her that I sure as hell don’t have any clue either but then I think better of it. I start remembering the whole reason I even agreed to this tour in the first place. “Well, I definitely can recognize most of the traits, maybe tell him how to develop some of the skills,” I offer. They both nod and we all look like we’re ready to go. “But if you’re going to keep referring to this gig as a job, I have some payment requests I’d like to be considered,” I add. “First, I’m going to need protection. The Guild of Nod already thought of me as a heretic but now the Enlightened are, at the very least, going to want to study me. I want a holy gun. Nothing fancy, just a pistol. Most vampires won’t be expecting it so that’d be enough. It looked like you were mass-blessing them anyways. Second, I need to get out of here. I need my own place. Third, I’ll get your Vampire Falcon up to speed but I’m not exactly fully qualified anymore. And a lot of my advice is going to involve the Falcon killing people. Once the job is done I pla-,” but Ferris cuts me off before I can finish. Honestly, I don’t even really know what I was going to say. I just felt this sudden urge to ask for stuff. “We will see for the first two. But you will learn, just as I did, the being mortal again has a lot of unexpected needs with it. You will not be able to move about as you once did. You will need to eat, stay warm, talk with people, and keep out of trouble. All of these things mean staying put. And as for the Falcon…, I’m afraid you’re somewhat mistaken about what we require from you. He is your new partner. Perhaps you’d like to meet him now?,” Ferris asks.

Introductions

2008-01-18T13:47:00.001-08:00

We go back to the hospital wing I’d been confined in and the Doc leaves me in a chair while he goes to collect the Falcon. Ferris stays behind and sits in a chair across from me. She lights another cigarette but seems to have decided she doesn’t need to share anymore. “How did you handle it? When you found out about the book and being human again?” I ask when the silence becomes obnoxious. She pauses to take a drag before answering and I find myself again being impressed with her looks. She catches me staring and gives me a half-smile. “It was hard. It will be hard for you as well. Maybe the book is a punishment sent by the God Fenrir, maybe being human again is meant to remind me of what things should be fought for. I’ve been here for three years. I only stayed because they said they had a way to kill vampires. As long as I do that, perhaps Fenrir will forgive my people and we will be free again,” she says this like she’s got it memorized. She sure as hell hasn’t been saving it for me. I decide it’s my turn to not talk and stay quiet. It’s enough trouble to acknowledge the idea of some divine power existing at all, much less that people can read it out of a book and use it against biological invulnerability. The Doc finally comes back into the room and we both standup. Behind him, a kid that couldn’t have been much older than eighteen walks in with his hands in his pockets. His hair is dyed black and there is an earring in one of his ears. His lower lip is pierced. But none of that really phases me. It’s the crucifix around his neck that I lock onto. “Hi, my name is Jacob,” he says. He sticks out his hand and I shake it numbly. Glancing down, the enormity of the problem finally sinks in all the way. He’s wearing a ‘W.W.J.D’ bracelet.

Awkward Start

2008-01-18T13:46:00.002-08:00

“I’m Shade. Sam Shade. You’re…you’re the half-vampire?” I ask. He scowls and jerks his hand back. They go back into his pockets and for a second I catch myself shoving my own hands into mine. “Jacob here was rescued, Mr. Shade. This has been very hard on him and he still hasn’t quite grasped the enormity of his situation. We were hoping you could help with that as well,” the Doc explains. “There’s nothing to help with. If you can cure this guy or Ferris, then there isn’t a reason you can’t cure me as well,” Jacob responds coldly. For some reason it had never occurred to me that someone wouldn’t be overjoyed at the idea of being a mutated powerhouse, but there were suddenly a couple of reasons I could see not being excited about it. If the kid was ga-ga for Jesus then there were would probably be some hang-ups. He would not, for example, be able to mutate the virus into superior strength or speed if he didn’t drink blood. He might not be forced to, if the virus in this form didn’t require it, but he was no better than the average joe without the slurp. The same went for regeneration, eyesight, hearing, and every other reason the Paladins would’ve wanted to keep this kid in this half-vampire state. And that’s when the fucking catch of this gig hits me like a ton of bricks. They want me to convince this kid to follow the lifestyle. I check out and he checks in, Vampire 101 for Jesus Freaks. And if that damn book was any indication, maybe he wasn’t totally off on his protests either. What in the hell had I just agreed to? Ferris and the Doc both look at me with almost pleading eyes, the former wolf half cocks her hips and I feel myself melting just a bit. I shouldn’t have let her catch me ogling, there’ll be trouble for it. “Kid…I think we might need to talk alone for a bit,” I explain.

Mark Twain

2008-01-18T13:46:00.001-08:00

“Look, if you’re going to feed me some shit about saving lives and protecting the innocent, you can stuff it. I don’t want to be a vampire and I don’t care what anyone says. I’ve seen enough shit in my life to not need this crap,” the kid barks at me. I raise an eyebrow and find myself a bit impressed. The first thing religious types always seem to lack is critical thinking over authority. But this might just be knee-jerk rejection from the kid. “How…how Christian are you?” I ask. I’m a bit out of touch with the whole concept of faith and I think the look the kid shot me was a final judgment on that fact. “Gosh, I didn’t know we came in sizes. I’m a Medium-sized Christian. I got picked up by a Crisis Youth Ministry after I overdosed on meth. I believe in God and that Jesus Christ has my fucking back. Is that enough for you?” he actually pulls out the crucifix and waves it in my face. “Y’know those didn’t work on me back when I was a vampire. I don’t think anything is going to start happening now, unless you’re feeling funny,” I shoot back. He turns a bit red at that and sits down in a huff. I try a different tactic. “How bad are the pangs?” I ask. He grunts and shrugs. “Is it like being hungry but no matter what you don’t feel satisfied? Do you find yourself drinking water even when you’ve had gallons of it?” That catches his attention and he eyes me for a minute. “Is that what it is? Wanting to drink blood is what’s causing it? It reminds me of when my Mom went on that Atkins Diet thing and made me eat like her. Like I’m missing something,” he says. He fidgets with his hands for a while and doesn’t add anything after that. “Listen kid, I’m going to tell you a story that someone told me when I was first infected. You ever heard of Mark Twain? Funny guy. One time, while he was out in the desert in the Middle East, him and some pals found a line of fossilized oyster shells and fish bones in a Cliffside. One guy says they must be left over from the Great Flood, since they’re in the Holy Land. Another guy says it’s because the Earth is millions of years old and this part of the Earth used to be under water. Twain looks at both of them and just says they probably had a really popular sea food restaurant there,” I say. “The point is, any of them could be right without making the other one wrong. That’s what being a vampire is like.”

Blood Bags

2008-01-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

“What, you mean murdering people is the same thing no matter what I call it?” Jacob asks. For a second I’m startled to hear him call it that. I don’t know why. “Some would call it murder, others would call it survival. Considering what they’re asking you to do, I can understand why you might think of it as needless. Do you…understand how big of a deal you are? You’re not possible, as far as I know. Scientifically, the vampire virus mutates so rapidly that most people who’ve studied it said the thing was uncurable. But to actually mutate, in response to an immune system, to a degree that you cut back on half the side-effects? Kid…that’s a miracle,” I explain. He seems to shrug at that, like such things are to be expected. Maybe to him they are. I’m not the one sporting a Jesus bracelet. “It’s also tough to say what exactly is going to happen once you start drinking blood. That’s how the virus grows. I think I’m still a bit stronger than the average guy but you’ll be the opposite. You’ll be punching through walls after a few years. Jumping over cars. And you don’t have to worry about sunlight at all. Jesus kid, aren’t you even the least bit excited or curious? You’re special, you’re being recruited by the Paladins of Light!” I say. He rolls his eyes and replies, “That name is really dumb. What am I supposed to do for them, anyways?” he asks. I don’t have an answer to that one but I tell him we’re probably going to be hunting vampires. “They definitely do kill people, right? And they’re all evil? Do I have to drink blood out of a person or could I just…I dunno, suck it out of a donor bag?” he seems to be perking up a bit now. People always do when you tell them about the perks that come with vampirism. “A donor bag? I guess I’ve heard of people doing it…but it’s like drinking a warm flat beer. It’s terrible, but if you don’t mind doing it then sure,” I answer.

Incessant Questions

2008-01-18T13:44:00.002-08:00

The next couple of days I spend waiting around for my apartment to get setup and praying for a few moments away from the kid. As soon as he started trusting me, he asked me about everything under the moon about vampires. How many people had I killed? Which ones were the strongest? I told him I’d lost count and that seemed to upset him for some reason. I could tell I bugged him a lot too. When he asked me if I believed in God I told him no. When he asked me if I was an atheist I told him no. When he asked me what I believed in at all, I didn’t have much of a response. “But… you feel bad about it now, right? Before, you said there wasn’t a cure so you just did it to survive, but now you’re human again and all those people are dead because of you,” he asked me one time. I tell him we’ll argue about it once he’s slurped a few dry himself. I can understand that he was freaked out, but it was like he wasn’t sure if he should piss without asking me. The other problem was it started showing that the blood bags weren’t doing it. They had always been a way to get by for the milder vampires, but if you wanted to start showing a real increase of power you had to get at stuff that was still active. He still wasn’t budging on the issue, even when I proposed we go to the terminal ward of a Nursing Home and Kevorkian someone with a slurp. I think I started rubbing off on him in other ways though. He never quite dropped the Jesus routine but he stopped wearing the bracelet around the hospital. He told me about his own life sometimes. How wild he had been before the church took him in. How he was lucky to be alive. I told him he had bigger problems than meth right now, but he just laughed at that and shook his head. Eventually, they gave us both our ‘Holy weapons’ and I’d drag him out to the firing range if he started yapping too much. I couldn’t hear him over the revolvers blasting away at targets shaped like people.

Training

2008-01-18T13:44:00.001-08:00

I finally got my own place and started spending most of my nights with a bottle of bourbon and a Netflix subscription. They tried to give us some training in field work and some of it was alright. They weren’t quit with it though with their planning. The ex-cops and the marines had all these attack plans for invading castles and tombs. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that no one stayed in those things anymore but I held my tongue. But during the basic Vampire Culture course, I finally couldn’t take it. I ended up teaching the course by interrupting the instructor constantly, until he finally just sat down and told me to teach the thing myself. It was in front of a bunch of other ex-cops and you could see them fuming at me. That was when I started to realize just how much most of these guys can and did hate my guts for what I’d used to be. “Let me guess, you want your steak raw, right buddy? Nice and bloody!” they’d ask before walking away laughing. The kid never understood what they were making fun of when they teased him, but I tried to shield him from it anyways. The instructor I’d embarrassed turned out to be the main cop in charge of his ‘Civilian Detachment’ as they called us, a real fucking pill named Mills who had it out for me from day one. You would’ve thought I was the vampire who’d murdered all the friends and family that drove them here. And honestly, a couple of them could’ve been. But they were assholes who didn’t know the first thing about hunting vampires except that they’re guns could burn a hole in them when most couldn’t. They needed my experience and I needed…I needed a reason to not put that noose around my neck again, I guess. “You know what I think, Shade? I think you just got tired of all the bat shit,” Mills barked at me once.

Things Pick Up

2008-01-18T13:43:00.002-08:00

Things stay idle and keep going south between me and the rest of the Paladins. One of them convinces himself that I’m the vampire who slurped his wife and takes a swing. Like I said, my strength was still above average and when I swing back I end up doing more damage than is fair. So they send me and the kid to Ferris’s office to think about what we’ve done. The kid asks me when he’s going to be strong enough to hit like that and I finally snap. “When you quit fucking calling it murder and slurp someone, dipshit!” His face turns red and he stares at the floor, Ferris scowls at me and goes back to the paperwork we were doing before we got dumped in her office. For a second I feel like apologizing to the kid, to Jacob, but I’m just too damned angry to do anything but smoke a cigarette. This whole situation, babysitting and teaching people to kill vampires, it was just having an effect on me. I didn’t like it because I didn’t understand it. The phone rings and I’m relieved that the wait for anything is over. Ferris answers and curtly replies that she’s babysitting the both of us at the moment. Then her eyes get wide and I can tell something she isn’t happy about has just gone down. “Fucking military pigs! Tell Mills I said, no, tell Mills that I ORDER THEY HOLD THEIR POSITION! No raids, no gun fights, not a goddamn thing. I don’t want the last fuck-up repeating itself. What for? What the fuck did we start this whole goddamn civilian operation for in the first place?” she’s screaming and pounding her first on the desk like an animal. Which she used to be. The kid looks scared out of his gourd but personally I’m still finding myself a bit turned on by Ferris. My brain again warned me that it was going to get me in trouble one of these days. She slams the phone down and pulls a revolver out from the desk. “You two got your guns?” she asks. We both nod and I pat mine with a growing fondness. “Good. We just got a call that there’s been a sighting. A huge one. Maybe a whole nest. And I need you two there,” she barks before shoving us toward the door.

Mission Planning

2008-01-18T13:43:00.001-08:00

Ferris serves us a nice round of explanations on the car ride over. The kid still seems pissed about my yelling and stares out the window the whole time. “There have been a group of vampires that have been near the Paladin’s homebase for the past few weeks. But we always lost them when we tried to follow them back to their nest. So tonight, of all nights, they start acting crazy and don’t bother to lose the people following them. And now Mills and his Paladin troopers want to storm the damn building they’re in,” Ferris is gripping the steering wheel and half snarling during this whole rant. I try to think of something to say when the kid fills the gap for me, “So? Why not? We’re here to kill vampires aren’t we?” I pull out a cigarette and take my turn at staring out the window. The kid still has a thing or two to learn about when to disagree with a woman. I’m glad he’s talking again though. “Because, Jacob, in case you hadn’t noticed we’ve been sitting on our asses for the past three months. We need leads. We need to know what these guys are up to,” Ferris explains. I raise an eyebrow at that one. I’d dropped a hint or two during training that I could lead them to a few hideouts I still remembered but Ferris had never seemed too interested. “Just how close were these guys when you noticed them?” I fish. She sighs and I think I’ve finally caught the gravity she’s been dancing around. Old Ferris might have a security problem on her hands and she wants to know how bad. “Close enough that they probably realized what we are. I need to know who they’ve told. What they saw. I need to know if I’ve got a goddamn war on my hands,” she admits.

Wait Here

2008-01-18T13:42:00.000-08:00

We’re in the city now and Ferris is slowing down, checking street signs and getting her bearings on where we are. The radio crackles and it’s Mills, “I can give you an hour to scope this out. My men will try to take one alive but you know how that goes Ferris,” he garbles across the static. She rolls her eyes and parks the car on a street corner. “You see that warehouse? That’s it. That’s where the vampires ran to. Take these binoculars and tell me what you see,” Ferris instructs. I take a glance and say aloud what I see. A warehouse that looks like it has seen better days. If it’s a nest then a guard should be poking his head out every thirty minutes or so. If we wait, I can probably tell you who the guard is with. Ferris pulls out her gun and checks the casing, turning off the safety while she makes sure there is one in the chamber. “Mills and his crew are down two blocks away in a bread truck. I’m going to walk over there and report all this. If I’m in the van with them I can keep them all in check a lot better than sitting here. When you see someone and ID who we’re dealing with, radio it. Gather as much info as you can from here. If they go in and start blazing, try to run down anyone you see fleeing. It’s time for you two to prove you’re not a fucking liability, got it?” she says before opening the door. She drops to a crouch outside the car, gun ready for anything, and then stashes the iron. She moves in the slow walk of a nervous female in a bad part of town, heading down the block towards the bread truck. I reach over, close the door, and slouch down with the binoculars. The kid still doesn’t seem to want to talk to me and it just became a lot more noticeable.

Staking Out

2008-01-18T13:41:00.002-08:00

At first I just keep quiet and hope my estimate wasn’t ridiculously off for the guards. An hour goes by. The Enlightened ran a tight ship and would’ve kept a guard checking. But then again, they also wouldn’t be in a warehouse and they probably wouldn’t have been caught in the first place. The Nod worshippers were a bit more casual but even they would’ve posted guards during the night. This whole thing reeked of amateur. I half wanted to radio Mills and tell him to just flatten the place, since the vampires in there seemed like the gang type. I should know, I used to be one. Time keeps going by and the kid’s silence is still pissing me off for some reason. I reach over and turn on the car’s radio to break the tone. Why should I apologize for telling him the fucking truth? He wants all the powers but he doesn’t want to pay the price. He doesn’t want to soil his damned moral beliefs or his Jesus standard. He’s never going to get past the human stage if he keeps believing in that crap, never going to quit being weak if he clings to those beliefs. “Look…kid, you gotta quit being so moral about thi-“ I say. He interrupts me in a flash with what has probably been on the burner for a while. “How can you be so casual about it? How can you act like murdering someone is okay? Even with the nursing home people, you make it sound okay just because they’re going to die soon. So are you. So am I eventually. Does that mean someone should be allowed to murder you? You keep saying it’ll make me stronger, that because I’m a Vampire Falcon I’m superior and I have a right. A right to fucking what?” he snarls. I just don’t have any answers for him not understanding. I want to tell him that after the virus makes you immortal you don’t have to give a shit about all that stuff. That when you don’t have to die if you can avoid the sun it all quits being relevant. I’m the one whose human again. I’m the one who will have to get old and die no matter what I do. I light a cigarette. “You know those things will kill you,” he mutters under his breath.

U2

2008-01-18T13:41:00.001-08:00

I keep smoking and we’re back to not talking. More time goes by. Stupid kid, maybe I am just another deadbeat mortal but he’s still got a chance that I don’t have anymore. If he’s going to whine about what it takes to become stronger by slurping then he shouldn’t be so damned pissed when I yell at him for asking. The radio is grinding through commercials and I’m just about to turn it off again when they finally remember to play some music. It’s some sad bastard tune I remember from the 80’s and I reach to turn the station. “Hey, I like this song. U2 is one of my favorite bands, “ he says. I pause at the dial and decide to leave it. It’s a slow song and as I listen to the lyrics I find myself liking it a bit more. “This is U2, huh? It’s kinda preachy. That’s one of those things you believe in, right? That we’re all one despite our differences?” I ask. It was a lame attempt to humor him but I guess I just wanted him to talk again. “It’s about a guy whose gay and infected with AIDs. He’s telling his Dad that he’s going to die,” the kid explains. I listen to the song and see what he’s talking about. He hushes up again and I realize he probably feels patronized. Again. “I like that. I can relate, having a deadly disease. It’s not all heartless. When you’re…I mean back when I first got infected it’s not like there was a cure. I didn’t have a secret organization feeding me blood and I was going to go crazy if I didn’t drink. That happens, y’know. We called it the red haze. I usually black out just before I’m about to bite someone, like going on a bender or smoking too much dope. If you don’t get your fix, your brain just shuts down and you stop remembering anything. You walk around like a zombie till you’ve killed enough people. It wasn’t…I don’t know kid. I don’t know much of anything anymore. Being human again is…,” I trail off. He stays quiet for a while back there but then finally tells me I can change the channel once the commercials start back up. “It’s alright Shade. I don’t really know either,” he admits.

Old Friends

2008-01-18T13:40:00.002-08:00

“Do you think these guys might be…might be the ones who bit me?” he asks. It’s my turn to be quiet while I think about the implications of that. “Maybe, I don’t know. Could’ve been anybody I guess. The fact that the Paladins saved you before full infection took place means it must’ve been a casual night. Why, you want a crack at them?” I ask back. “Yeah, maybe. I just…I didn’t ask for this either, man. Just thought it might make me feel better about all this. Just hit the asshole,” he responds. I find myself thinking about which gangs were raging around lately and realize again, it could’ve been anybody. The kid taps my shoulder and suddenly I spot a vampire walking towards the warehouse from down the street. And who should it fucking be but Dingo himself, my old pal? What was that cooze doing screwing around here? He was ex-Enlightenment like me, but he’d never been the sharpest marble in the bag of them. Again I found myself wishing I knew what was going on. Ferris wasn’t being straight with me, Mills hated my guts, and most of the force now knew me as the ex-vampire who punched that guy. They wanted information, now I had a chance to get it. I looked at the kid and picked up the radio. “Ferris? Mills?” I asked. “I know that guy out there. I’m going to go see what he’s up to,” I say. The kid looks at me like I’m nuts. “But you’re human now! He’s still a vampire, won’t he kill you?” he says. I shrug and shake my head. “Naw, me and Dingo go back. I don’t think he’s coming over to Sunday dinner anytime soon, but he’s not going to slurp me right off the bat,” I reply. I wait a couple of minutes for there to be a response on the radio but there isn’t one. Can they hear me? Is it tuned to the right frequency? I glance in the binoculars and see that Dingo is smoking a cigarette. If I don’t go up to him soon I’m going to miss my only chance to see what this whole mess is all about.

Dingo

2008-01-18T13:40:00.001-08:00

I know it’s crazy but I just felt like walking up to Dingo and saying hello. It had been months since I had anyone but the kid to talk to and there was an old vampire friend, in the flesh. He’d probably spot that I was human by sight or by scent. But between the cigarette smoke and me holding back maybe I could just look weakened. Fuck it, this was Dingo. We’d been slurping together for years since we quit the Enlightenment. “Kid, you got your cell phone? Good, Mills gave me one too. Here’s the number. Text me if anything comes over the radio. If you see anything weird, I guess go check it out,” I say. Before he can say another word I hand him the digits and step out of the car. I walk straight at Dingo and he spots me in seconds. I’ve started a cigarette and gave a few coughs before waving at him. After getting up to maybe five feet, I stop and just stare. My hand is in my pocket and I grip the holy revolver. I’m not exactly sure how to start. “Shade? Holy shit…it’s you! I thought you were dead! After that night when that squad jumped us, me and Sunshine just assumed they’d dragged you off to finish the job,” he exclaims as he walks towards me. At three feet he stops in his tracks and can tell I’m human again, I grip the revolver even tigher. “Holy….shit,” he says. “I guess you could say they did kinda kill me,” I say half-jokingly. He gives a little laugh himself but just keeps staring. “You and Sunshine made it out alright? Figures, when their heads aren’t shoved up their assholes they can’t tell the difference,” I say. Dingo nods, takes a step back, and lights another cigarette. The first one fell out of his mouth. “I don’t remember much about that night. Either the slurp haze or whatever they cured me with makes it all go blank,” I say again. Dingo seems to have collected himself a bit finally. “Yeah, after Sunshine and I split, we saw them hauling you off and followed them back to that hospital. We figured it was for lab experiments or something. Shade…they have guns that do permanent damage. Sunshine had his arm blown off and it’s not growing back. Do you…how much do you know?”

Hanging With A Bad Crowd

2008-01-18T13:39:00.002-08:00

The blood beating in my veins gives a pulsing reminder for why I need to keep my mouth shut and the gun I’m gripping tighter than ever reminds whose buttering my bread now. Before I have to lie to an old friend, we’re interrupted by a voice yelling for Dingo to hurry. His head jerks and quiet as a shadow a vampire dressed in all black appears behind him. I know the uniform and if the light was better I’d bet there was a tattoo of a Sphinx on his neck. What is Dingo doing with a Nod Templar? “Malvolio…hey man. It’s Shade! The guy I told you about,” Dingo says immediately. I know Dingo well enough that he’s scared of this guy. Since he’s still an immortal vampire, I wonder where that leaves me. “Ah…you don’t say. Mr. Shade, such an unexpected surprise,” he rasps at me. I could probably land a bullet in him. Considering Dingo just vouched for their damage, I could probably land a bullet in this Malvolio before he got close. But the thing about Nod Templars is that they’re trained for fighting werewolves and vampires. A blow that could smash a car barely phases them. They were the ‘Fuck-Off’ Religious Warriors of Nod and I had my doubts about how much one bullet would do to protect me. He also knows I’m human now too. Great, just great. The Nod Worshippers are involved, they know I’ve been with the Paladins, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess Malvolio’s next request. “I believe we could be of better assistance if you’d join us inside. Perhaps you could explain your curious condition and how you escaped the Paladins for us,” Malvolio offers. I shrug and try to stop my hand from shaking. The very real possibility of my death is suddenly hard to ignore and for the first time in decades my instinct to run away fills me. But it’s no good. The Templar moves unimaginably fast and locks a hand on my neck, pinching the nerve. Just like I used to do before a good slurp to cripple movement in the victim. “If you please, Mr. Shade. I am very curious to discuss the matter of you how found us, for starters,” he says in my ear.

Playing Games

2008-01-18T13:39:00.001-08:00

I’m pushed through the doorway and walking down a dark corridor that opens up into the rest of the warehouse. The walls are sparse and the area is intentionally being kept poorly lit. There could three Templars hiding around there, it could be three hundred. In a touch I would’ve thought a coincidence under better circumstances, a lone chair with a light beaming down from high is over in one section. Predictably, that’s our destination. I sit without being forced and light a cigarette. Malvolio wisps back and all I can see is Dingo looking at me. “So…explain yourself man. What happened? How did you…shit, are you really human again?” he asks. As much as I’d like for this reunion to be emotional, my ambivalence about dying is suddenly becoming much harder to control. I’m really not used to mortality. There are two ways to get a person to believe what you’re telling them. They want it to be true or they’re afraid it is. The trick is knowing which one to use. I lean forward and whisper as lowly as I can knowing full well every Templar around can hear me, “Dingo, listen. If these guys decide to bite me, don’t get involved. They pumped me full of a vaccine, everyone who bites is going to become human. It’s a trap.” His eyes bulge and he hastily backs up a bit. That should buy me some safety and it was certainly better than saying some magic book had cast some spell. “What are you doing with a bunch of Nod freaks anyways?” I say much louder. Malvolio wisps back into view and slaps me across the face. “Your heretic views are now even more disgusting coming from the mouth of a traitor mortal. We will be asking the questions here, not you,” he says. Dingo looks embarrassed and down at the floor. He’d been a reliable guy, a bit thrifty and blood crazed, but an alright guy. After I decided to bail on the Enlightenment, he’d been one of the first to agree to come with me. “Since you seem to have lost a bit of your memory regarding our extra-sensory capacities, I’m going to ask another question. How much do they know and perhaps more importantly, how much do you know?”

Old Memories

2008-01-18T13:38:00.001-08:00

Funny, I wanted to ask them the same thing. My best bet at information is some time alone with Dingo and the best shot at that is keeping things unproductive. “Next to nothing. They kept me in some hospital the whole time. I just woke up and was human again. They fed me, walked me to the bathroom, and then just waltzed in saying they were gonna let me go. The whole thing was laughable. Just said they hoped I’d learned my lesson and dropped me off two blocks from here. Never do a slurp again,” I fed him. He looked at me and sneered. “Such a thing is both a sin and untrue, making it all the more disturbing to me, Mr. Shade,” he said. I braced myself for another slap and was rewarded for my efforts. My face was starting to ache. I had to get a few minutes alone with Dingo to figure out what was going on and that didn’t seem likely here. “Allow me to start over with a new question that gets to the same point. How much have you told them about vampires?” Malvolio asks. For some reason, an idea from the back of my head pops forward. It’s a story my grandfather told me about when he was captured during the war. I haven’t thought about my family in decades, ditched them as soon as the virus took effect. Most do. He said that the way he stayed alive in the camp was to feed them a little bit of real information and then get bitchy. To just keep leading them on and buying time. Damn, I suddenly wish my body wasn’t mortal because I get the feeling I’m about to be in pain. “Alright, alright, enough bullshit. They hired me as an informant and advisor to their organization. They’re called the Paladins of the Light. I would’ve told them to go fuck themselves as soon as I woke up but there’s a catch to these guys. They can make guns that hurt vampires. Paint them across the fucking walls. So I did the logical thing, I switched to the winning team. I mean, you guys must be the false religion and they’re the right one, si-“ I manage to say before a fist lands on my face. I vaguely get the impression of flying before things go dark.

Reunion

2008-01-18T13:37:00.004-08:00

I wake up to cold water on my face and I see Dingo looking at me with a nervous grin. “Shit Shade, you need to watch that. Your face looks like its been to the butcher shop,” he hands me a cigarette while I check myself. I still have my gun and that bulge in my hip pocket feels like my cell phone. The idiots are so used to being immune to bullets that they still don’t search people for weapons. “Yeah, can’t take them like I used to,” I mutter before taking a drag. My cheek burns from the cuts my teeth made when I got punched, “How long have I been out?”, I ask. “About thirty minutes,” he says flatly. I reach out my hand for some help getting up and he just looks at it. “So…I’ll ask again, what are you doing with a bunch of Nod freaks? I don’t remember you ever being any fonder of them than I was,” I ask. He shrugs and sits down next to me. “It’s complicated. When Sunshine and me saw those guys carry you back to that hospital, we got into a big fight about who to go to. Like you said, those guys are something else. Guns that can hurt a vampire was big info and we couldn’t decide who to go to. I mean, I was all for the Enlightenment but…when we pulled the bullet out of Sunshine, we checked it over. All those fucking science classes they made us take back when we were with the Movement, right? It was lead. No chemical residue. Nothing weird,” he explains. When you’re a member of the Enlightenment you’re required to become a bit of a maverick education-wise. Science, philosophy, art, personal development. “Sunshine said we had to go anyways but I was against it. Like you used to say about their fucking motto over there, ‘Question everything except us’. I wouldn’t be shocked if they decided the reason Sunshine was missing his arm was because he fell asleep with just one part of his arm in the sunlight,” Dingo says. I nod and try to collect the marbles in my head because right now a red light is going off. I’m amazed Dingo was able to get this kind of time with me so easily. “So you went to the guys who were crazy enough to believe you’d been shot by a magic bullet and told them,” I say.

Bold Solution

2008-01-18T13:37:00.003-08:00

Dingo nods and finally pops the big question, ”Shade, how do they do it? How do they make those bullets?” I pause mid marble collection. “Some kind of book. I didn’t recognize the language it was in when I saw it, but that was just from hearing a guy read out of it. The whole key is the book. You can’t memorize it, you have to be holding it. Copies don’t work either. They get one of their me-“ I stop mid-sentence and pick up the last marble to my head. The red light’s label suddenly makes sense. This is a trap. A few seconds later I can hear audible sniffing and everything gets confirmed. “He’s telling the truth,” I hear someone growl. A werewolf slave, checking my pheromones and backing up the info Dingo just got me to spill. I hear clapping and Malvolio presents himself. “Thank you Mr. Shade. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he says. He nods to Dingo, who gives me a hang dog look before fading out. “Oh, and don’t forget to see to that piece of business, if you would. Our offer is now changed appropriately,” Malvolio says to Dingo. “Yeah, no worries. I got it,” he says. Malvolio turns to me and paces for a few moments. I cough and feel a loosened tooth with my tongue. Another cigarette to my lips and the burn picks up a bit more. Malvolio leans down close to my face. “I greatly appreciate that bit of information, Mr. Shade. But there is so much more you could be telling us. Why not just keep going? Floor plans, personnel, training, types of guns. Whatever else I can thi-“ its his turn to stop mid-sentence because my cell phone is suddenly ringing. It wasn’t quite the interruption I had planned but I don’t think Malvolio was used to cell phones going off mid-beating. He stands and curses, grabs me by my bruised cheek and snatches the phone out of my pocket. He squeezes my face and I’m suddenly regretting the cigarettes. Malvolio laughs and shoves the opened screen in my face. All the phone reads is ‘help’. It’s from the kid. Malvolio lets go of my smashed cheek and lifts me up by my shirt. “I suppose you think that was funny?” he asks. “Naw, that was just a giggle. What’s funny is how little of this you’ve thought through, big guy. You didn’t even ask me where the book was,” I say back. He sneers at me and gives me a fanged grin. But I give him a toothy grin right back when the gun barrel touches the bottom of his jaw.

Compromises

2008-01-18T13:37:00.001-08:00

All of those shadowy cronies suddenly quit being so well hidden. Out of my peripheral there’s motion, behind Malvolio there’s at least two, and my ears can hear that werewolf snarling. Maybe two, probably more. My grin vanishes at about the same time Malvolio’s does. “Mr. Shade, even if we should choose not to bite you, I do not recall ringing a human’s head off to be particularly hard,” he says harshly. “And pulling the trigger was never easier,” I shoot back. My brain is multi-tasking the options and telling me they’re all sour. Was the kid in trouble? “And they covered that too. You kill me anywhere near here and the cure will taint anyone who touches my blood,” I lie back. It was worth a shot. Malvolio only smiles while a werewolf behind me sniffs and presumably shakes his head. Not to mention the wolf would still be capable of killing me anyways. This whole time Malvolio is slowly lowering me and I’m digging the gun barrel higher into his jaw with every inch I go down. “I hope you don’t intend to keep this up all night,” he says calmly. With the dog fact checking and my survival rate hitting zero it’s time for plan B, mix the truth up a bit. “You want information, right? Fine. I want money. Being mortal has reacquainted me with that vice and suddenly all I can think about is retirement,” I pull the gun down but keep it trained on his face. “Why would you be willing to do that?” Malvolio asks. “I give them all my info on you, they ditch me. I give you all the info on them, I get it worse. Lets just say a former vampire gets a little bit less respect than a real one with the Paladins of Light.” I say. Malvolio blinks and looks blank for a second. “What a terrible name,” he says. I give a short laugh but still keep the gun trained between those black eyes of his. “What I’m proposing, big guy, is the old switch. You pay me, they pay me, and only one side gets decent info,” I explain. “An interesting proposal. Yet why should I trust you?” he asks. “Because there’s a bread truck full of Elite Paladins with machine guns about to storm this place if I don’t step outside smiling,” I reply.

The New Deal

2008-01-18T13:36:00.001-08:00

I wish the lights had been a bit brighter so I could see Malvolio’s eyes bulge. The werewolf is sniffing like mad. Damn, why did I have to add the Elite part to that pack of goons? The last ace is on the table and it’s the one most likely to get me killed. Vampires just aren’t used to the idea of having to die, period. Maybe Malvolio figured he was fast enough to at least dodge a fatal wound coming from me. I’m sure the other vampires figured that as well. But pretty much every thing they knew about fighting involved hand to hand combat as the only effective way to kill. And most of that you could grow back. Even in a huge skirmish, only a handful ever died. But guns were a different game for them. The idea of dying without doing anything wrong, of death by just standing there, that was starting to take effect and I could tell it was unsettling them. “Think about it, Malvolio. You know these guys have to be wiped out. But if you barge into that place it’ll be Normandy without the scenic beach. You need me and I need to get out of here,” I say. I’m assuming by now the werewolf has confirmed the trooper part and Malvolio is wondering how to handle a full house. “Lower your gun and we can deal,” he finally says. I shake my head. “By the Book of Nod and the purity of my blood, lower your gun and you will come to no harm, mortal,” he says. I lower the gun. “We shall do as you say. I want maps of the installation, number of troops, guard patterns, everything I’ll need for a full scale assault. When you give me that I’ll give you…how much is enough? One million?” Malvolio asks. The guy wasn’t used to valuing money or material goods. “When do we make this trade?” I ask. He is getting nervous and I can tell he’s in a rush to get out of the place. “I would say…two weeks? We will meet at ‘The Montreat’. Room 176. Midnight, naturally. And I warn you, we have observed this installation a great deal ourselves. Any attempts at false information for us, which I expect you to be giving the Paladins, will be dealt with brutally. There will always be night time, Mr. Shade,” he says. With that, he vanishes in the shadows and I barely hear the air move as he makes his escape. A window clatters, the sound of shoe rubber twisting on concrete, and the whole pack is gone. My mind goes back to the kid immediately and I head for the exit.

The kid

2008-01-18T13:32:00.002-08:00

I step outside and the place is deserted. The bread truck is still over on the corner but I try to ignore it. I don’t know if those Nod worshippers can be trusted. Well, I know they can’t, but I don’t know if they’re scared enough to really run away. I start walking towards the car in the hopes of finding the kid. As I get closer though, my stomach gets that sinking feeling. The rear door has been left open and the kid is nowhere in sight. I look around. Nothing down the street, no sign around the car, and nothing but that text message to go on. I’d told the kid to stay out of trouble, but to check out anything strange. Damnit, how could I have been so stupid? Of course that got him in trouble. There was no way he could go toe to toe with a vampire, gun or not. He was just a kid and I’d told him to act like an adult. Maybe Malvolio and his goons had caught his eye and he took off after them. The only ones he could’ve spotted that weren’t on the front were down an alley to the right of the warehouse, so I started walking in that direction. My hands were still shaking, the adrenaline pumping from the past hour inside that warehouse. I just wasn’t used to danger, of actually being in fear of dying. Being scared for someone else wasn’t any better. The whole feeling was like being taken out of a padded room and being told anything could happen. I checked over my shoulder twice as I moved across the street. My hand found the gun in my pocket and once again I was surprised at how reassuring the grip really felt. Death didn’t seem so bad when you could order it around. But only a little. Some garbage cans are were knocked over and I can tell by the smell it happened recently. I pick up my pace and start running down the alley way. The kid needed help.

No Last Words

2008-01-18T13:32:00.001-08:00

The alleyway swings into a corner of the warehouse but my guess about the windows is moot. They’re all still open. An old rusty light hangs over the wall and illuminates the dumpsters that are around back. And there I see the kid. There’s Jacob, lying in a pool of blood, stiff as the wall he’s up against. The cell phone is in his hand. I just stop, at first. Just sit and stare. Death. His arms are twisted around something and his face is turned away from me. My grip on the gun goes slack. I lean against the wall across from him and slide to the pavement, still trying not to look at him. No. Please, no. The image of that noose I should’ve been dancing around comes to my head and a part of me wishes I’d gone ahead and saved myself the suspense. I fumble for my cigarettes. I finally look back at the poor kid, the kid who was dead because I had told him to chase anything strange. For some reason, I suddenly think he’s going to get back up. I mean, there he is, dead as can be, and it’s like my mind doesn’t recognize it. He’ll stir and we’ll call the ambulance and everything will be okay. At the very least I could get some last words. He could tell me it was okay, that it wasn’t my fault and that he’d be fine. I could tell him I was sorry for yelling at him. Oh God, I’d never even apologized for yelling at him. Nothing but his stiff corpse and me puffing on a cigarette that are killing anything now. I take a drag. “Along with everything else,” I mutter. I should’ve saved myself the damn suspense.

Empty Box

2008-01-18T13:31:00.002-08:00

I get up and put my hand back on the gun in my pocket. Whoever did this could still be around. I roll the kid over and the thing in his arms clatters to the side. The cigarette falls out of my mouth as I recognize a metal box with engravings I’d only seen once and would never forget. An empty, used to contain a very specific Book, metal box. The kid’s blood is on it. And suddenly the whole picture comes into focus. Ferris screaming on the radio. Malvolio not asking about the Book’s location. The death. The Book that’s driving this whole operation is currently on the loose. A check over the body and it’s pretty obvious that the hole in his chest is what did the kid in. It’s too big to be a single bullet, unless holy weapons have some kind of extra kick I don’t know about. Could the kid even survive normal gun shots? A werewolf could’ve punched through him like that, a vampire too. Dingo being sent out early on some errand. Anything, could’ve drawn the kid over here. Maybe speared him with a pipe even. He’d had enough time to text me, maybe even before he got hit. Maybe ten minutes had gone by between that and my arrival. Questions were piling up like blank paper and the only answer I had was that it all had something to do with the empty box lying next to the kid. What to do? Go to Mills and the Paladins? Ask Ferris to sniff around? I only knew one thing for certain at that point. Whatever it took, whatever kind of bullet I needed, I was going to plant it straight in the heart of whoever had done this. The son of a bitch was going to pay.

Making Plans

2008-01-18T13:31:00.001-08:00

The first thing I decided was to keep the Paladins out of it. If you were to list out the primary suspects for people who could kill the kid and would do so to get the book, I came in with at least the silver medal. I had dumped a lot of bodies before and this shouldn’t have been any different. But when I slammed the dumpster lid down on Jacob’s final resting place, I wondered for a second how he would’ve felt being buried with the trash. But he was dead and would get over it fast. I’d make it up to him anyhow. Just as I was starting to think I’d taken care of my first problem a new one presented itself while I headed back to the car. Standing in front of the warehouse was a group of Paladins with assault rifles. They looked like fans of the team that just lost Nationals and were ready to pick a fight. Before I could decide whether or not it was a good idea to talk with them, it’s guns raised and hands in the air time. “Here’s the fucking traitor right now!” one of them screams. They slam me on the ground and fasten hand cuffs too tightly around my wrists. Damn, and I’d had such a good alibi ready too. One of them gets on the radio and announces that they have captured a suspect. I can keep my cool through just about anything. Back in the day, I could bound through rooftops and go through trouble like it was on sale. But the urge to hit someone was just too much suddenly. I just couldn’t keep my cool. I start screaming and tearing away, shaking them off and telling them to keep their damn human hands to themselves. Maybe I deserved the taser that knocked me out a second later.

Mills Upset

2008-01-18T13:30:00.002-08:00

I wake up uncuffed and sitting in a chair. Across from me is a very upset Mills, two armed guards, and some fuzzy blurs in my vision that are tangoing with the lamp. I miss my regeneration powers. “So glad you could join us,” Mills says. I just sag forward and try to adopt my best ‘I just got the shit beaten out of me twice’ expression. It isn’t too hard. “What we have here, Shade, is what we like to call in the police world ‘probable cause’. What that means is there are times when you can take action if a person gives you a reason to do so. An example might be someone…oh, tipping off a group of vampires that they’re about to be busted. Particularly if they did it right…fucking…in front of you. This cause is so probable, in fact, that I’ve hesitated from putting a bullet in your brain on the sheer, barely believable chance that maybe you have an explanation for this,” Mills says. He stands up from his desk and gets a cup of water out of the cooler near him. “Because the thing is Shade, I don’t just need that explanation. I need a couple. I want to know, for example, where my Vampire Falcon is. He vanished and you’re the last person to talk to him. And maybe you could go over what you told those freaks about us inside that warehouse. Or perhaps, you might consi-“ he continues. A guy can only talk so many sarcastic lectures before you’ve just heard them all. Right now my quota was already one over bearable. “What you need to know is if I’ll consider telling you where your Book is before every vampire in the city turns you into dinner,” I say. The look on his face tells me I stole the fifth act right out from under him.

More Threats

2008-01-18T13:30:00.001-08:00

“Well?” Mills asks. “I don’t know. What with the mortal coil I started wearing they don’t trust me anymore,” I shoot back. I innocently check my pockets for cigarettes. They took the gun and everything else. At least they’ve got that going for them. “What were you doing in there?” he asks. “Keeping you idiots from getting killed. I know vampires and I know when they’re acting funny. I recognized one of the guys and decided to do things the old fashioned way,” I reply. Mills balls up the cup and throws it in the garbage. It’s annoying because after watching him I suddenly feel thirsty. “And what would the old fashioned way be?” he asks. “I asked him,” I reply. Apparently jokes about the obvious don’t go over well with Mills because he backhands me right over my rosy cheek. “Now you listen to me, you sick son of a bitch. I never wanted you here. I’d have killed you back at the warehouse if it weren’t for Agent Ferris stopping me. I’d have killed you when they brought you in too, three months ago. So start acting like the piece of shit you are and talk,” he snarls. The blood is back in my mouth and I find myself wishing everyone would stop using violence to get information out of me. At least the Nod worshippers had a friend trick me into it. “I don’t owe you a fucking thing, Mills. I don’t owe you or any of these corny Paladin bastards anything. I was one step from the hangman dance when I was hired. So either shoot me or start calming down, but don’t think for a second death threats phase me,” I yell back. He sits down, still glaring at me, and watches me while I pour myself a cup of water. “If you want the Book back, you need to listen to me very carefully. Because without that wad of paper, killing me would be the last happy moment of your life,” I say.

Find the Book

2008-01-18T13:29:00.002-08:00

“So. Where’s the book?” Mills says again. “I don’t know. But I can guess who does. Between the guy I recognized and the Guild of Nod, someone picked it up. They jacked the book but something made it get complicated. The Nod worshippers might have it. My friend might have it. Shit, the werewolves might’ve picked it up if one of the slaves got uppity,” I explain. Mills rolls his eyes and one of the guards snorts. I recognize him as the guy I punched. “They’re all vampires and freaks. What difference does it make?” he mutters. “The difference is saving you the trouble of beating up another guy who doesn’t know the answer.” I shoot back. Mills is drumming his fingers across the desk. “Fine. You hit the streets and figure it out. I’m gonna have two men following you at all times. As soon as you figure out where the damn book is, you call me and let us take over. You’re not off the hook but it might make things a bit more favorable between us,” Mills explains. “No way. Any meat following me is either going to get slurped or label me as trouble. These guys aren’t dumb, they’re used to staying underground and I’m far from full proof. Tender face and all that,” I say while pointing to my mortal cheek. It gets quiet in the office as Mills thinks it over. I can hear the clock ticking. I think about asking him for some cash for smokes and a bottle, but then again I can take the time to mourn later. “Fine. We’ll try it your way, but don’t think I don’t have ways of finding you. Just one thing Shade. Why are you doing all this?” he finally asks. Ah, the big question. The one I didn’t have much of an answer to until just a few hours ago. I thought about telling him what happened to the kid. But it would’ve just made extra heat. “It was this or the noose. It makes the time in-between a little more interesting,” I reply. His eyes narrow at the sarcasm and I can tell he was hoping for something that would explain more. He hands me back my gun. “Any idea what happened to the kid?” Mills asks. “Not a clue. Maybe he went back to Kansas to ask the pastor to cure him. It’s nice to think so,” I reply.

Ferris Helps Out

2008-01-18T13:29:00.001-08:00

I step outside the office and sitting in a chair outside is Ferris looking tall, blonde, and anxious. She seems relieved when she sees me and walks up with an offered cigarette. Maybe I should tip off vampire raids more often. “What did they say? What’s going to happen?” she asks. I don’t see the harm in speeding up the discovery process, so I fill her in on the deal with Mills. She asks me what my first move is going to be and after taking a drag on my smoke, I decide it’s go home and drink until inspiration hits. “Let me give you a ride then. I never should’ve left you in that car. What happened to your cheek? Did Mills do that?” she asks. Its been a long time since anybody mothered over me. I’m not idiotic enough to think that Ferris has suddenly taken a liking to former vampires, but I could use the ride and I figure Mills is just using her to keep an eye on me. It’s a pretty set of eyes. I tell her all about my lack of a plan as we head to her car. It’s the same one from before. “I should’ve told you what was going on last night, but I didn’t know how you would react to the news about the book. It’s incredible, no evidence, no one even missing. They just walked in and the box was gone. That’s why Mills was so trigger happy and I wanted someone to question, in case the book wasn’t in there. Now all we’ve got is you,” Ferris says as we drive down the highway. The wind is in her hair and I find myself looking at that more than listening to her. They’re in a real jam. Everyone is, it seems. I point at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of bourbon. It always gets the gears working when I need an idea. Ferris offers to come upstairs and help me think.

Den Mothers

2008-01-18T13:28:00.002-08:00

I appreciate professional dedication, but seeing Ferris sit in the fold-out chair that compromises one of the four pieces of furniture in my apartment surpasses all expectations. We both sip bourbon out of a paper cup and she has a notepad out in front of her. I think she catches me eyeing her legs. “I’m here to make sure you work, Shade. I can appreciate your needing a drink but right now that book is the most important thing. We need it back,” she says firmly. “What happens if they burned it?” I ask flatly. Her eyes narrow and she bites her lip. “I don’t know. There won’t be much to do if we can’t kill vampires,” she remarks. Ah, her bit about helping the Paladins because they gave her a chance to kill my former kind. “Can I ask you something? It’s been coming across my mind a lot lately. If you could go back, would you?” I finish my cup of bourbon and pour myself a second. Her eyes drift to the window. “When I was a little cub, they told me I was a…there isn’t a word for it but I guess princess gives you the idea. Runs in front of the pack. That all changed, when the Den Mother was captured by vampires,” she says, “The males were forced into service as agents. Truth detectors and assassins. The women were made to do…unspeakable things. We became a risqué, a fetish amongst those self-righteous scum.” Her voice is cracking a little and I’m a bit stunned at her being so honest. For just a second, she looks vulnerable. The Den Mother was the family head of a wolf clan. Women were considered the rulers of werewolf groups because they were the originator and controller of the bacteria that made the group’s lycanthropy possible. If you killed her, which took a lot of work but was possible, then the rest of the clan’s strength and abilities would collapse. Take the Den Mother hostage and the rest of the clan had no choice but obey. If they didn’t, they risked being turned human again. “I’m sorry. The enslavement had nothing to do with me or the Enlightenment. That was the Guild of Nod’s doing. We never sanctioned abusing people like that and I’m sorry,” I finally say. It was nice for the truth to be appropriate for once.

Staying Human

2008-01-18T13:28:00.001-08:00

Since werewolf clans were relatively few and far between, the Guild of Nod had simply taken control of the major ones by appropriating their Den Mothers. It had been this way for about two decades and was one of the many enmities between the Enlightenment and the Nod Worshippers. I say one because although there was a lot of disapproval, we had never exactly cared a whole lot either. Ferris stiffens when I touch her shoulder and I can tell it’s time to pull back. “I believe…I think Fenrir will take his vengeance on the vampires. I think that the Book comes from his power and someday I hope to use this organization to free the Mother,” Ferris explains, “So if being human and helping them will do that, then no. I do not wish to change that. How about you, then? Do you wish you were a vampire again?” Now it’s my turn to look out the window. I think about all those times I tried to convince the kid to take a slurp and wonder about the relief I suddenly feel that he never did. But that isn’t really a ‘no’ either. “I wish that being either one didn’t change anything. That once I stopped being vampire everything I did to stay alive back then would still be the same now. But it isn’t. If I was a vampire again, I’d probably forget all this stuff. Having my jaw busted, worrying about dying, caring about what another person thinks. But I don’t know if I would for certain. That’s why I wouldn’t want to do it, not without knowing for sure I could forget these feelings. I don’t think I could stand being immortal while at the same time knowing there is this hidden world underneath it. Does that make sense?” I ask. Ferris looks at me and smiles. “It sounds like you’re just scared you’d be lonely,” she responds.

Interrupted Kiss

2008-01-18T13:27:00.002-08:00

I’m a bit taken aback at that one but maybe there’s something to it. The kid has been gone a full day and I’m finding myself wishing I had something to do besides find where the dumb Book is. It was nice having someone ask me about myself, I guess. “I guess we both kinda have that in common,” I say. Ferris raises an eyebrow at that one and reaches to pour herself another drink without answering. It isn’t exactly a solution to finding the Book but I can think of some ways Ferris might help me think. She purses her lips and finally says, “Maybe so. But…it is not so bad knowing that I’m still helping Fenrir’s will. Every pig vampire that dies is one less for my kind to deal with,” she replies again. The werewolf religion was a weird one, I couldn’t follow it any better than I could the Nod Worshippers. But I guess anyone gets offended at being controlled with fear. “Is that really enough? Just feeling good at the end of the day because of your God? I just don’t see what it’s for. I was happy just to have a reason to get up. Just to have somebody give a shit if I was there or not was nice. Don’t you need…other things?” I shoot back. She sighs and picks up her purse to leave. “The other things are hard,” she comments stiffly. When you’re this far along with innuendo, there’s no point in not giving it all a try. I put my hand over hers and give it a squeeze. We both move forward in a rush and our lips meet, she’s soft but her grip is tense. The other things are hard when you don’t have someone else who understands. I’ve just gotten a grip on her waist that’s comfortable for me when my eyes half open and I spot a flicker of movement in the window. I almost don’t break the kiss, it has been so long. But when I see the person outside my window flash back faster than a human could ever move, it has to be done. Someone who isn’t mortal is watching me.

Curious Guests

2008-01-18T13:27:00.001-08:00

I’m two steps away and Ferris wonders what she did wrong. I’m at the window and my gun is out. The lock is popped and the window flies open, with my head out the window just in time to see the slip into the shadows two stories down. I don’t even think about it, the next step just seemed logical. I pull the trigger. I pull it again to make sure. I’ve killed hundreds of people as a vampire and for some reason it seemed just as easy now. I’m out the window and on the fire escape with Ferris calling out my name while I slide down the ladder. An old trick from my slurp days, one that would’ve been perfect if my legs could’ve taken the impact better. I’m on the ground rolling, my knee caps pissed at having to join my face’s banged up status. The gun stays trained on the shadows though. I can hear a foot sliding and heavy breathing, but no one ever cried out. Had I made the shot? Ferris called out my name again but I was already limping towards a parking lot, the only place they guy could’ve gone. I fire another shot. It occurs to me that my friend might be as unused to death as me and it’s confirmed when I see a car fire up across the lot. Way too far for a human to have run there. I hobble towards the exit and duck in front of a car. Just a few more bullets left…maybe I can take out his tires. Maybe even hit him. As the car gets closer I raise the gun and take aim. The adrenaline is pumping through me now. But I lower the barrel before it even becomes relevant. The car plowing through the lot is a Black Cadillac. And there is only one group of vampires that keeps their staff driving them. I should know, I used to drive one myself. The Enlightenment has been watching me.

The Best Lead

2008-01-18T13:26:00.002-08:00

By the time I’m back upstairs and in my apartment the kinks have worked themselves out of my legs and I’m heading for the drawer where I keep the bullets. The blessed ones. Ferris is looking sheepish about our moment but I can see she has her own gun out as well. She puts it away when she sees that it’s just me. “Who was that? Was it the Guild of Nod?” she asks. I check the windows again and reach for my cigarettes only to find that I’ve run out. Ferris has put away the bourbon bottle and is handing me a smoke, still expecting an answer. “No…the Enlightenment has taken an interest in all of this. Whoever was watching us drove off in one of their Cadillacs. Up for a drive?” I tell her. She’s biting her lip and thinking it over. You can still smell the gun smoke from minutes before so I decide to leave the window open. There’s nothing in here anyways. Did they think I had the Book? What did they care if I did? I had trouble picture the head of the high and mighty Enlightenment suddenly acknowledging this whole affair as possible. A mystical Book that could imbue weapons with the power to kill an un-killable virus? Then again, Dingo had said Sunshine was missing an arm and there weren’t a whole lot of explanations for that besides magic in the vampire world. “But they might kill you on sight! You can’t go,” Ferris protested. “The best lead I’ve got in figuring out what happened is a vampire named Dingo,” I explain “And right now, he could be living next door for all I know. A mutual friend who’s un-attached to proof that the Book works apparently went back to the Enlightenment, so maybe I can get them to listen. Maybe see if Sunshine has heard anything about Dingo,” I explain. I’m touched by her sudden concern for my safety but I’m not exactly a licensed driver. I point to her keys. “Either you’re going to help me, kiss me, or get out of my way. I’ve only got time for one,” I reply. She pauses for just another moment before picking up the keys and heading for the door.

The Enlightenment

2008-01-18T13:26:00.001-08:00

The Enlightenment had gone corporate back in the eighties in growing response to persecution from the Guild of Nod. Back in its heyday, the Nod Religion was the one and only spot for vampires. People infected would show up lost and confused, the church would provide them with guidance. A community to work with. Hell, maybe it was just having the job of working with the other infected, other ‘blessed ones’. We were all dead broke since we couldn’t hold a day job and the blood haze could make you crazy at any moment anyways. If you weren’t with the church it was go homeless or have a very understanding family. Then this guy within the church by the name of Iago began preaching a new kind of sermon. One that called for scientific study of our condition, to seek ways for self-improvement that didn’t just wait around for the will of Nod but took matters into our own hands. First the Guild of Nod disciplined him, then they excommunicated him, and the inevitable death sentence soon followed. But he had already gotten his message across and Iago kept enough followers to be well protected even against the Nod Templar. This was all back in the 70’s. The Vietnam war was raging and everyone was protesting the social order. Maybe it was all the hippy vampires like me, maybe it was just because it was the Guild of Nod had come out in support of the Vietnam War. But vampires followed Iago. At first we were just roving bands, gangs hiding out in old buildings but we were free to do as we pleased. But when the war ended and everyone started coming home. The slurping…the killing was rampant during Vietnam for everyone. When a person vanished off the streets, folks would write it off as a fact of life. But after the war was over, suddenly every front page was plastered with the tragedy of someone’s death. Iago gathered as many of the vampires as he could and proposed they form a corporation to protect ourselves from discovery. The business was blood and the commodity to get it was time. We had a lot of one of those. Establishing safe-houses, controlling media, and even organizing gatherings for the various groups were the chief jobs handed out. Soldiers took to robbing the people they slurped, or just using their powers to rob in general. Scientists finally got the tools to fully research what was going on in our bodies. We did everything but go to Church on Sunday night.

Returning to the Office

2008-01-18T13:25:00.000-08:00

It’s hard to say why I left the Enlightenment with Sunshine and Dingo. For one thing, they kept demanding more from their members. Read this book, study this concept, or discuss this issue. At first, back when we were all tearing down the ideas of the Nod Religion, it had been great. There was so much to undo and so much critical thinking. But at some point Iago started trying to replace it with his own doctrine. Maybe the Enlightenment had already started drifting at that point, already quit being an escape and just another place to be. But when you sat down and looked at all the genetic improvements the virus brought about, it very rapidly lead to some odd conclusions for some people. For starters, our weakness for sunlight was suddenly not such a problem. It was easily avoided, after all. Our extended age meant our leaders were older, wiser, and less concerned with the material world than someone mortal. In fact, why should we even live in a mortal world? Weren’t they the transient ones and we, the forever beings, better able to sustain society? This line of thinking was started up by another member of the Enlightenment but when Iago realized it started drawing back members who’d left, he jumped on it. Critical thinking suddenly became, “Question everything except us”. Suddenly you weren’t setting up a safe house for your friends, you were setting it up for the cause. And it was very easy to disappoint the cause. I was being bitched at for not doing my reading, Sunshine had failed to properly rob a victim, and Dingo just hated authority. We’d already learned how to survive on our own before we showed up. So we packed our bags and marched off in the early hours of the night. I directed Ferris down a street I still remembered well and even waved to two sentries innocently examining a window display next to Headquarters. It was still night and everyone would be up. “Drop me off here. Keep driving and don’t pull over for anybody. If I don’t call you in about an hour,” I said curtly. Walking up to the building had worked once, after all.

Homecoming

2008-01-18T13:24:00.002-08:00

I’d only been rogue for about a year with my crew so it wasn’t much of a shock when I opened the double doors to the seemingly abandoned, discreet headquarters and recognized the security guard. What was a surprise was the team of vampires with assault rifles standing behind him. Well, they were the people who had trained me, after all. “Hands and face on the ground, NOW!” one shouted. I obliged and the first thing they relieve me of is the gun. Learning quick, I see. There’s shouting and some things I can’t make out before my hands are cuffed. “Filthy bastard was coming in here to kill us!” “He’s really human, look! Unbelievable!” Things quieted down as loud footsteps drew closer from down the hall. I pulled my head up and before me was a one armed, slightly puzzled Sunshine. “I’d wondered what had happened to you…but making you human and sending you back here? Shade, what is going on?” Sunshine asked. My mind weighed out what to do since the man I had come to see was in front of me. Protecting my neck came up as the most important. “I’m a vector for the cure! Don’t bite me!” I screamed. Sure enough, grips slackened and even Sunshine stepped back a little bit. Stay away from the mystical mumbo jumbo, I told myself. Keep it scientific. Tell them everything is cells and DNA, not some magical Book that no one understands. You had to talk to people in the language that worked for them. Sunshine finally stepped forward and checked my pulse, making sure I truly was alive. “Odd, that’s not what the Book says happens when someone is cured,” said Sunshine. I froze and realized he was also checking my reaction to that comment. My heart was racing. “You…you have the Book?” I ask. Two guards roughly lift me up by my arms and Sunshine beckons for them to carry me. “Yes, lets go look it over and see what it has to say about all this, shall we?” Sunshine murmurs.

Iago & Book

2008-01-18T13:24:00.001-08:00

I’m carried down familiar halls until I finally kick free and simply walked behind Sunshine. We didn’t say much. There had never been a leader amongst the three of us, but Sunshine was always the one who kept his calm. Dingo had been a wild one, addicted to the blood and drunk on the red haze more than either of us. I never slurped as much because of the blackouts. When we rounded the third flight of stairs going down, I realized with a sinking feeling we were going to Iago’s office. The chances of me being killed on sheer principles had just risen dramatically. Then again, maybe the chances were the same as always. Maybe they were the same no matter where I was. Sunshine knocked on the door and we waited while there was shuffling. He turned and looked at me, “Damn man…they really did it. You’re really it again.” I shrugged and nodded. A voice boomed for us to come in. Inside was a luxurious desk and rows of books on shelves behind the wall. A few lamps kept the place more dark than lit and sitting in the center of all this was the man himself. Iago was wearing all black and glaring at me with a raised eyebrow as I stepped inside and seated myself. He normally expected people to wait until they were asked. “Long time, no see, Shade,” he said. “I guess you could say it was time for a make-over. Thought I’d experiment with the other side again,” I reply. Already my mind had begun to turn over the possibilities. One of them had killed the kid. One of them had stolen the Book and murdered him for it. My expectations and hopes for finding an end to this came to a rattling halt soon enough though. Iago reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a printed folder that was about as thick as the book in pages. I couldn’t help myself. I laughed.

Surprising Information

2008-01-18T13:23:00.002-08:00

Iago glared at me, “Something funny, Shade?” I shook my head and then reconsidered. For better or worse, these people knew me. These vampires. “It’s just a copy. None of that stuff works if you don’t have the actual Book,” I explained. Now it was Sunshine and Iago’s turn to laugh. “And just why, precisely, would a copy of a book no longer be as effective as the original?” asked Sunshine. Iago was far more to the point. “So you’ve seen the Book yourself? Handled it? How do you know this?” I pause for a moment and try to size up who knows what at this point. Don’t forget what your grandfather said, withhold enough information to stay alive. “I never got to touch it. But one of their scientists explained how baffling it was to them. Only the actual Book can do the stuff it claims,” I say. Iago begins flipping through the copy and Sunshine looks at me. “Who told you that? One of their scientists? He was probably just keeping you mis-informed. Even the Book itself must be some sort of distraction, some sort of cover for the real truth,” Sunshine says. I glance at the place where his arm used to be and his face reddens. “You seemed pretty alarmed by that gun,” I reply. Iago is furiously scanning the pages of the book. The copy, anyways. “Mind telling me where you got that?” I ask, gesturing at the copy “I’d love to keep this little reunion up, but I’m kinda on the job right now.” Iago blinks and looks up from the pages. “I’m not above having you slapped in the face right now. That right cheek is looking a bit red these days though, so perhaps you had better turn the other one,” he replies snidely. Like I said, the Enlightenment was just the same as the Paladins and the Guild when you boiled it down. They treated their own members differently, but they treated anyone else just like the Nod freaks treated non-members. Like they were less than.

A Rational Exchange

2008-01-18T13:23:00.001-08:00

“I imagine your distaste for this organization has not changed much with your transformation into homo sapien, Shade. This book quite clearly states that you’re human and unable to be re-infected, but I wasn’t inclined to following ancient religious texts before this whole fiasco began anyways. I will require a tissue sample but could do without the risk of potential problems from drinking your blood. The much larger question concerning your now mortal frame is why I should not kill you,” Iago lectures. That panic feeling is slowly creeping back. My cards are suddenly all over the floor and I’m still repeating that mantra from my Grandfather. Stay alive, think of something to say. Stay alive. “Because I never meant you any harm?” I weakly reply. Sunshine gives a snort but Iago merely raises that eyebrow again. “You walked into our facility uninvited and unprovoked with a gun that clearly somehow hurts vampires. We saw you coming a mile away and still refrained from shooting you. For all we know, you had gone the proverbial ‘postal’ on us,” Sunshine says. “Unprovoked? You were tailing me! I had a goddamn vampire staring in my window and driving an Enlightenment Cadillac. I just wanted to see what was up!” I shout back. It’s there for just a second, but Iago is surprised at this bit of information. “I assure you, none of our agents even knew you were alive, much less where you lived,” Iago replies. He looked down at the copy and flips to another section, then another. “It is possible you simply confused it with a normal Black Cadillac,” Sunshine said. “And it’s possible you should go work on your tan,” I mutter. “Gentleman! There is no need for such an irrational exchange. Some of the vehicles leave our control for extended periods of time. It could’ve been stolen by the Guild of Nod or these so-called Paladins of the Light and used as a decoy,” Iago says, “In response to your original question, we received this copy of the book from Dingo. He expressly said that it work as well as the original. He is also using one of our Cadillacs.”

Unexpected Release

2008-01-18T13:22:00.002-08:00

Another piece of the puzzle falls into place and suddenly I need fifty more to finish the picture. Was that the errand Dingo had been sent on? To give the copy to the Enlightenment? No, why would the Guild of Nod share the book? Did that mean they were tricking them with the copy? False security? No, that didn’t work. They hadn’t known copies weren’t as good as the original until Dingo had tricked it out of me. Who had the book now? Whose side were they on? And underneath all of that, at the very core of this whole mess: who had killed the kid? “Now that I’ve shared, Shade, would you be so kind as to explain what the Nod Worshippers want with the Book?” Iago asked. It’s tit for tat and Iago has decided to see how long we can play against each other. Or until it’s time to kill me. I decide the obvious is my best bet. “They plan on killing all of the Paladins. And then they’re going to hold off on burning the book until they eradicate all the heretics like you,” I reply. So maybe I fudged a bit for dramatic effect, but it was probably what they were going to do. The point was staying alive. “And if the Paladins get the book back?” Iago asks. Again, I decide on having fun with the truth. “Same thing. Change the names around. You still end up hunted,” I reply. Iago nods and Sunshine sucks in his breath. “And where is the book now?” Sunshine interrupts. “I was kinda hoping you could answer that,” I explain. Iago stands up and paces over to a few books against the wall. Art, science, philosophy, they’re all stacked up in neat rows in front of him. “I’m afraid that I simply don’t believe you, Shade. I think you are probably convinced of the truth of your own words. Perhaps even the Paladins believe that this Book is truly responsible for it all. But I’m a bit disappointed you would be so susceptible to such nonsense after our training. You never once looked for a better explanation than…faith? Magic? Never once tried to go deeper than face value? Indeed, this Book claims a variety of improbable things. The ability to cure werewolves. Make a Vampire Falcon,” Iago asked. It was the same damn thing, just like always. Question everything except us. They were as bad as any religion and just as ready to burn someone who didn’t agree. I just glare at him. “Still, whatever is causing all of this, I now have all I need to fully discover what is going. With the gun and a tissue sample, our labs should be able to answer any questions. You may go Shade. Alive even,” Iago finishes.

Face Value

2008-01-18T13:22:00.001-08:00

And the whole thing is as easy as it sounds. Sunshine and I go outside while Iago still stares at the copy of the Paladin’s Holy Book. Honestly, I don’t know what the Enlightenment lab geeks are going to find but I doubt it will involve answers. If the Paladins of Light had wanted to trick me, it seemed like the gag would’ve made more sense with a bullet in my brain pan to start it off. Everything here was trucking along at face value and I needed a new mask. Sunshine sat me down in a chair in an empty class room and started swabbing my arm. “So what happened? Why are you here and why is Dingo with the Nod Freaks?” I ask. Sunshine stiffens for a second and starts thumping my vein. “We had a difference of opinion about compromising. Dingo followed the people who kidnapped you, I was missing an arm. I needed medical attention so I dragged myself to an Enlightenment safe house. When we finally met back up, he had all these wild stories. The Book, an anti-vampire police force, and even the notion that a cure existed. It’s not that I thought he was lying, just mistaken. It’s just not scientifically possible,” Sunshine said. It was odd, that was too much information for someone observing from the outside. Dingo was capable of sneaking in, certainly. The security had been non-existent except for where the Book was concerned at the hospital, but still. “How did he give you the copy? Did it seem like he was ripping you off?” I asked. Sunshine plunged the tube in my arm and started the pump. They were going to take the limit, it seemed. “No, he seemed like he thought he was doing us a favor. The Nod Worshippers had been all too willing to help him procure a copy, but I got the impression it didn’t take much. Right out from under their noses with no one knowing was what he said. He was in a hurry though, like he had somewhere else to be even though I’d been waiting,” Sunshine said. Did that mean it was before or after we met at the warehouse? “Where and at what time?” I asked. The blood tank was half-full and my stomach turned at the sight of it. Shit, me, feeling sick at the sight of my own blood. Sunshine seemed as passive about it as ever. “He’s been staying at a place on the edge of town since you’ve been gone. I’ll write it down. This was at about…ten or so? Two nights ago,” Sunshine said. Same night, before the warehouse reunion. So he had been ignorant about needing the original Book when he gave them the copy.

More Than This

2008-01-18T13:21:00.002-08:00

The tank finally fills while I brood on the next move. Go check out Dingo’s place, maybe try to figure out where he is. Maybe he was the one peeping in windows and driving Black Cadillacs. It wasn’t that I trusted Iago, just that he didn’t have many reasons to lie about that. Not to mention a proper Enlightenment soldier wouldn’t have had much trouble remaining unseen if he wanted to spy on me. But Dingo was hotheaded and liable for making mistakes. Sunshine swabs my arm again and hands me a band-aid. “You know, I can get myself out of here,” I comment. Sunshine shakes his head and we head to the exit together, “Sorry Shade, but you’re not…you’re not a vampire anymore,” he says. Up through the stairs and around the secret wall. For a second I picture what it would be like if I ratted this place out. Cops came busting in and hunting for a pack of mass murderers. They would be slaughtered. The bullets would bounce off the Enlightened and they would all beat a hasty exit through the tunnels underneath. If they could even get past the security and blast doors. Even the Paladins, armed with their Holy Guns, wouldn’t walk away without some scars. It wasn’t that letting me go was the nice thing to do, it was that it didn’t really matter. I wave to the guard and we’re back out on the street. I light a cigarette and start reaching for my cell phone. “Shade…there’s something I want to ask you. What’s it like? Being human again?” Sunshine asks me. I text Ferris to come pick me up. I take a long drag and stare out at the night sky. It’ll be morning soon. Ferris and I should stop to get coffee somewhere. Maybe talk about that kiss a bit. “You need more. More than all this,” I say with a waving gesture over the Enlightenment Building. He nods and his remaining arm brushes the socket where its companion used to be. “More than the Book?” Sunshine asks. “Something like that” I answer.

Girl Like That

2008-01-18T13:21:00.001-08:00

Ferris picks me up standing alone by the Enlightenment Headquarters and we’re cruising down the main street of the city. She wasn’t interested in coffee. “I’m impressed you didn’t come out with more bruises,” she says. I give her a toothy grin and roll down the window. The sun has been up for a while now and I find myself enjoying it. “I’m a lot more likable when I haven’t had the shit beaten out of me,” I reply. I barely have to repeat the directions and destination before Ferris says she recognizes the street and we’re off. I could learn to like a girl like that. Knows her way around, can handle pressure, and maybe work in a good kiss or two while she’s at it. I catch myself again admiring her looks. She sees me out of the corner of her eye, but this time pretends not to notice. I could learn to like a girl like that. We pull up to the place Dingo has been hiding out. It’s a rundown apartment building with two stories and one story not worth visiting. Chairs and garbage fill the halls as we both plod inside. Up the stairs and over to room 203, I’m spared the trouble of knocking because the door is still slightly ajar. Inside the apartment, the place is a mess. There is a big pile of dirt on the floor and some rope twisted around it. The dressers and drawers have all been ripped to shreds. Papers lie everywhere. “Well, help me look around, but it looks like someone got here before us,” I say. Ferris raises an eyebrow and starts poking around the scattered items in the abandoned apartment. There isn’t much there. Some clothes, shredded newspapers, and old photographs. I pause when I recognize one of them from back at our old hideout when we had all, Dingo, Sunshine, and Me, first left the Enlightenment. Christ, Dingo still had blood on his mouth in the photo. I remember thinking it had been hilarious back when we took it. Now it just makes me uncomfortable. The three of us had lived in a shithole a lot like this one when we’d first struck out on our own. I pocket the photo and try to forget about the sad feeling the memories give me. I don’t think I wanted to admit that I missed it a little bit, that blood. The three of us on our own. The sun light is coming into the apartment through a lone window and slowly filling the room. That sad feeling in me is flushed and replaced with a cold chill. As the light slowly creeps inside, it covers the pile of dirt and knotted rope in the middle of the room. The kind of dirt that a vampire exposed to sunlight creates when he combusts.

Another Dead Vampire

2008-01-18T13:20:00.002-08:00

I poke the pile with my foot and feel a few tiny chunks of glass mixed with the blackened rope. It’s still warm. Only a vampire could get that hot but not incinerate the rope around him. Only one tied up and left on a floor for the dawn. No one really knows why the Vampire virus is susceptible to sunlight. The Enlightenment certainly understood how, a toxic reaction to solar radiation coupled with the virus overcompensating by rapidly mutating to adapt. The mutations caused a cellular breakdown that, for lack of a better phrase, led to spontaneous combustion. The thing that made the vampire virus so incredible was also what kept it from being normal. It couldn’t take a force that it couldn’t adapt to. “Dingo…don’t you know sunlight kills you?” I half-heartedly murmur. Someone would’ve had to beat the shit out of him, tie him up, and leave him unconscious long enough for the light to hit. Once the sunrays started hitting him, Dingo would’ve been in too much pain to struggle against the ropes after that. “That is…someone?” Ferris asked. I nod, “I’m going to guess it’s Dingo. We were friends, before I became human. He’s a…” my voice catches little bit. That sad feeling is coming up again and I can suddenly feel the photo in my pocket. First the kid, now Dingo. They were both gone now. It wasn’t a pain I was used to. My hands are shaking as I try to reach for a cigarette. To reach for anything against this feeling. Ferris takes my shaking hands, her own palms are warm against what must be the icy chill of mine. “He’s a dead vampire, Shade. You’re not one of them anymore. If the Book was here, it would be gone,” she says. She squeezes my hand and I find myself squeezing back. It’s just too much to feel this way alone. “Lets get out of here,” I say weakly. We get back to the car and Ferris drives back to my apartment without me having to ask.

Forgetting

2008-01-18T13:20:00.001-08:00

Inside the door of my apartment, my mouth reaches for hers without a pause. She reaches back. Her hips fit perfectly again, my hands find just the right spot. I draw up close and she squeezes my arm. It hurts a little bit, but I don’t think she realizes how strong she is. I squeeze back. Things get wild and move all over the two rooms of my apartment. And for just a minute, I’m able to forget about all of it.

Slipping Away

2008-01-18T13:19:00.001-08:00

It’s late in the day and I’m awake in bed. Ferris is sleeping lightly next to me and that slow creeping sensation becomes a flood as all the things I tried to forget come sweeping back. The Kid, Dingo, and the stupid Book. I still don’t know what I really believe about it. Maybe Sunshine was right, maybe this was all some wild goose chase. With Dingo gone, my best lead for finding if Dingo or someone else had killed the kid. It was possible that whoever killed Dingo also killed the kid, but not necessary. Whoever had done it had to be tough, beating a vampire around was tricky work. One of Malvolio’s goons? Or had the Enlightenment just been toying with me? It had to be something supernatural, either way. The only lead I had left was the Book itself. Why kill Dingo in his apartment and why in such an awful way? To find out where the Book was? Whoever killed the kid must not have been able to take out Dingo with them and lost the Book as a result. They find Dingo later and tied him up to get him to talk. The only question now was…had it worked? And if it hadn’t, where had he stashed the Book? I slipped quietly out of bed and tried to get the gears turning in my head. This little romp was just a distraction and I was letting it get to me. And besides, for some reason sleeping in during the day suddenly seemed wasteful. Wonders never ceased. I sat in a chair looking out one of my few dusty windows in my boxers, smoking a cigarette and trying to think. Today was my last chance before the big meeting to have something for Malvolio. He’d be expecting me at the Hotel tonight. Time was running out. So woefully presuming the Book is still hidden, where would it be? Where would Dingo think something was safe from all the twisted characters involved in this crazy mess? Where had a blood geek like Dingo felt safe? It’s tough to answer a question like that for someone who goes by the name of Dingo. For some reason I reached over to the pile of clothes that had been torn off me last night. My shirt was in tatters. I pulled out the photo I’d found and studied it for a while. Then it hit me. Dingo had felt safe with Sunshine and Me. So where had we been all the time? The old dump we had shared was just a few blocks away.

Wild Ideas

2008-01-18T13:18:00.002-08:00

I glance over to the bedroom and see Ferris shift lazily before going back to sleep. I wish I could say I wore her out, but I think she did a lot of that to herself. She was a girl I could learn to like. But this was probably just a wild idea and it would only take a few minutes to check the place out anyways. I put on some fresh clothes and headed out the door. I needed a walk to clear my head anyways. It was like my head couldn’t decide to feel normal or feel like everything was all wrong right now. Two of my friends were gone, I was sleeping with a superior officer, and all of this was about to come to a crashing halt when Malvolio’s goons came looking for me. The streets were bustling with people and I found myself amazed at how crowded cities could be. There always seemed like there were so many less people in the world at night. As I rounded the corner and got closer to my old hangout, I tried to feel some kind of connection with the people around me. But it wasn’t there, not like with the kid or Dingo. They weren’t the same. Realizing that just made me feel worse though. I bounded up the stairs and shook the door knob on the old door to our place just the right way to make it open. It was just as big a shithole as ever. Garbage, clothes, and mold inhabited the place like it belonged there. As I moved into the back room the sound of the T.V. being on made me freeze. Dingo had always left the T.V. on when he left this place. He had been here recently. Cabinets and drawers started flying open, piles of clothes were kicked aside, until wedged in between two mattresses I finally found what I was looking for. Wrapped in newspaper and tied with string was a very thick and Book like object. I couldn’t help it. I laughed a little bit. So much effort had gone into this thing. I sat on the bed and set it next to me. I couldn’t think of anything else to do so I just lit up a cigarette. I was jerked out of my reverie when my cell phone rang. Expecting Ferris, I was surprised when Mills’ voice shook out. “Where are you?” he asked. “Busy,” I replied. “They finally found the kid. He’s dead. In a dumpster in that alley you were spotted walking out of when my troops caught you. I have some questions for you,” Mills says darkly.

Cut Loose

2008-01-18T13:18:00.001-08:00

I’d been cut loose. I’d expected the Nod to show up any night now, but now even the Paladins had stopped trusting me. “Mills, I’m too close to finishing this for you to knock my head over something you don’t understand,” I said. There was a pause and I could hear him breathing on the other end. “Did you kill the kid?” he asked. “NO!” I shout back. A little too much emotion showed. “Have you found the Book yet?” Mills asked. I look down at my side and study the newspaper packaging. “No. But I will tonight. There’s going to be a meeting at The Montreat. Room 176. You let me handle that and I can get your Book back,” I say. Malvolio had said the meeting time was midnight but my Uncle rang out in my mind. Don’t tell them everything. “Not good enough. What’s to keep you from running off? Or using the Book to bargain with us?” Mills shoots back. I turn the volume down on my cell phone, his voice is so loud. “You’re picking a funny time to quit trusting me Mills. The Montreat. Room 176. Tonight. I’ll send word about the time to show. And bring the calvalry,” I say as I hang up. Things were going too fast, too soon. Now I had to deal with the Nod freaks and the Paladins tonight. I had the book, but there wasn’t a friendly note explaining what had happened to the kid with it. Had Dingo murdered him? If he had, justice had been done with extra to spare. I didn’t want to think that about my friend but he was capable of it. Hell, I’d seen him kill before and even helped a few times. What had gotten the kid out of the car and down that fucking alley except following Dingo? I picked up the book, still wrapped, and headed back to my apartment. I had to know. Before the Paladins lit the place up and finally got their precious Book back, I had to know. Who had killed the kid?

Run Away

2008-01-18T13:17:00.002-08:00

By the time I get back to my apartment it occurs to me that I’ve slept in most of the day already. I don’t have much time before the big show finally starts. The best plans are simple ones and for now I think I’ll just show up. Play it by ear. Maybe tell a few jokes. Ferris is dressing when I open the door and gives me a half-smile before her eyes settle on the newspaper wrapped book. They bulge a bit. “Where did you…is that it?” she asks. I nod and give her a weak smile. She sits back on the bed and just stares at it. Then looks at me. “What are you going to do?” she asks. Just as she says it her cell phone rings and she glances at the Caller I.D. “It’s Mills,” she says without answering. “Don’t. He’s going to ask you where I am and that the kid has been found dead near where they picked me up,” I say. She mutes the sound on the phone. “Shade…we both know the Paladins aren’t overly fond of their cured immortals. I don’t…you’re not going to take it back to them, are you? Don’t think you have to on account of me. We could…just take it and run,” she says. Her face looks sincere enough to make me feel a chill. And I think about what she’s proposing. “What else would I do with it? Run where? Turn us both back into what we once were? I still don’t know if I believe this thing is anything more than a wad of paper anyways,” I explain. I reach for my cigarettes but the pack is empty. There’s no hiding from this. Ferris bites her lip and shrugs. “With that book we could do anything. Be anything. You’re like me. You don’t have anywhere else to go. You can’t go back to your old friends and the people around us don’t accept us. But that Book,” she says with a touch of desperation. “Is just a book,” I say, “And it can’t change a damn thing.” She sighs and rubs her face. She digs around in her coat pocket and comes up with a cigarette. She doesn’t offer me one. “We’re going to finish this, Ferris. Tonight. After that, whatever happens can happen,” I say softly. I know she has a point. And for just a second I think about actually doing it. Wrapping my arm around her waist and just heading out the door. Dingo had probably killed the kid. It fit, it made sense. Why keep pushing? Why this need to know for certain?

Final Say

2008-01-18T13:17:00.001-08:00

A part of me wishes I could stay in the apartment and make love one more time with Ferris. After all, the odds of me leaving the Montreat in a body bag are just as high as ever. Instead I just bug Ferris for a cigarette until she finally hands me her last one. We don’t talk much. I’m trying to think of a plan and Ferris is somewhere else entirely. As it gets darker and closer to midnight, I finally make up my mind. “I’m going to drop the book in a safe deposit box at the Montreat. Then when I finally get up there with the Guild of Nod goons, I’ll buy time until the Paladins can show up and clean them out. They get back the Book, kill the vampires they were originally going to kill, and we both get to come back the shining heroes,” I say. Ferris looks at me and shakes her head. “Heroes? You’re just a reformed murderer to them, Shade. You heard the things they said to your face, I heard the things they said behind your back. They only kept you around for the kid to make him feel better,” she says. I choke up a bit at that. I hate the way that has been happening, getting emotional when I least expect it. “That Book is a gift! It’s power! And with that, being mortal doesn’t have to be so hard. We don’t have to be so afraid. Why don’t we ju-“ she pleads. I slam my fist into the wall and it’s heavy enough to shake it. Too much emotion. “For the last time. We’re doing this. You can either help me or you can walk out that goddamn door. Go back to the Paladins. Go back to the Werewolves. I don’t give a damn. I need to talk to these guys, I need the Book as bait, and nothing is changing that,” I say harshly. She nods and stands to leave. For a second I almost regret it, not wanting her to go. She waivers and then takes my arm. “I don’t understand,” she says without meaning a question. “I don’t really either,” I answer. I pick up the Book and we both head out the door together.

Concierge

2008-01-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

Ferris drives use to the Montreat, pulling over for cigarettes and a newspaper. I tell her I need to do this alone and she doesn’t argue. There were enough questions without a beautiful blonde forming one. “What will you do when Malvolio asks for the plans to the Paladin’s base?” she asked. I shrugged. “What will you tell Mills?” I ask. Then I think for a minute. “Any kind of time limits I put on him are going to be trouble. He’s hot headed and he might go barging in before everything is…settled. I want you to call him fifteen minutes after I’m in the room. Hopefully my head won’t get torn off before Mills shows up,” I explain. Ferris nods and passes me a cigarette. We arrive at the hotel and I’m surprised when she parks in the temporary spot. “You can’t come in there with me. I thought we settled this,” I say harshly. She shakes her head and points at the Book. “If you’re dead, someone has to get that Book back. That’s what this is all about, remember? Luring all those vampires and getting them killed?” she asks harshly. The plan is full of holes but I catch myself wondering if plugging this one is going to do me any good. I need the Book there to make sure I have something to barter with if all else fails. The only thing holding him back now is not knowing when there are people to kill inside Room 127 and when there aren’t. Maybe he’s already watching the building. Ferris is still angry with me and waiting for me to give up. I oblige. We head inside and the concierge greets us with style. “Will you be staying long sir?” he asks. I give him my toothiest grin and ask him where someone can drink & smoke without too much fuss. He points to the lounge. “Good. My associate and I would like this to be stored in the hotel vault as well,” I say. He nods and takes the newspaper wrapped book from me. “Yes sir and under whose name will this all be under?” he asks. “Shade. Sam Shade.” I reply. Ferris reaches up and gives me a huge kiss. Then she walks out the door and I’m standing in the hotel lobby. I didn’t even remember to bum a cigarette from her.

Waitering for Forever

2008-01-18T13:15:00.002-08:00

The Montreat’s lounge is all leather and slow music. There’s a smoking section, probably one of the last one’s left on Earth, and I park myself. I only drum my hands on the table for a minute before I realize that if I sit here too long I’m going to start getting nervous. I order a drink and a pack of smokes. Neither arrive as quickly as I’d like. I start devouring both and order a second drink in seconds. I only have about an hour before the meeting and I see no harm in drinking while I wait. Damn, who shows up early to selling out? For all I knew, Nod Templar were already all over the place. Maybe that guy behind the booth was a werewolf, catching the scent of my fear. Maybe that shadow had an entire army, waiting to kill me. You could think all day about dying, if you really let yourself go. It was such a weird feeling to have to really think about death as something that was coming someday. When you’re immortal, when you’re a vampire living off perishable things, you never really waited for anything. You were either doing it or not. You were assuming a set of risks or there were no risks at all. I’d gone through so much crazy stuff the past few days, the first time I’d ever really done anything outside the hospital as a human, and I think it was getting to me. All this stuff that people did to stay alive, vampires or human, everyday and it never ended until you died. I downed the drink and ordered another. At least you could drink while you waited. And smoke. Or you could just finish the suspense, stand up on stage, and die. How could people live with those kinds of options? How do you endure it? I suddenly wished Ferris was here. I wished she was talking to me, telling me we were just alike and that we would endure it together. I wished the kid was there. Asking me how I did it. Asking me for tips, so I could believe that I really did know what I was doing. Even Dingo would’ve been nice, asking me where we would score our next slurp. Just to not have to do all this alone, this never ending act of staying alive. The third drink came and went. I never lost track of the time. I stared at the clock and watched each minute tick by. I watched it so hard that I almost didn’t notice a figure slip out of the shadows and sit in the booth next to me. “Hello Shade,” said Sunshine.

Belief Problems

2008-01-18T13:15:00.001-08:00

Honestly, it wasn’t the booze that kept me from jumping. It was that I wasn’t really even surprised. The Enlightenment, The Guild of Nod, Paladins of Light…they were all the same in the end. Just people thinking up a reason to keep going. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Sunshine said politely. The moment Iago had said their labs would handle it, I knew something was up. Even if they had found some kind of logical explanation, just the idea of the Book could not be left alone. The Book had to be possessed, it had to be overturned, and for some, it had to be burned. By them. “Just my faith in ambivalence, Sunshine. I hate to spoil your spoiler, but I’ve got a meeting in a minute,” I say coldly. The clock says ten minutes till show time. “Ah yes. With the Nod Worshippers, correct? This wouldn’t have anything to do with the package you just stored in the safe, would it?” he asks. I smile and chew an ice cube in silence. “Shade, it’s not that we didn’t believe you, it’s just that Iago decided there might be certain factors not accounted with your being human again. So I followed you,” he explains. “It sounds like belief is the problem, Sunshine. I thought you said the Book couldn’t possibly be responsible for those bullets or the cure,” I say back. He shrugs with one arm and I almost laugh at the awkwardness. My cigarette is almost done and I make moves to get up. He grabs my arm. “I want that Book, Shade. Now kindly go up to the concierge and request it,” he demands. I give him a half smile and find myself mulling over the heightened stakes of a death threat. When two immortals are threatening each other, it’s so much less satisfying. “Or what? You have to make your bet or the cards don’t mean anything,” I shoot back. He snarls at me and I can see a hint of his fangs. “Or I’ll rip your fucking arms off and do the same to everyone in this hotel,” he says. For just a second, I pause and wonder how I’m supposed to feel at him threatening all the other people in the hotel. It’s a short lived muse, because a Nod Templar in black appears out of the shadows and relieves Sunshine of his grip. “We would appreciate it if you did not detain our guest,” he says calmly. For once, I’m glad to see the religious people making sense. Sunshine makes an interesting point back when he pulls out my Holy Gun and aims it at the Templar’s head.

Fear Questions

2008-01-18T13:14:00.002-08:00

Two more Templar appear out of the shadows, one securing me and the other hovering intensely close to Sunshine. It looks like all my paranoia amounted to something after all. Sunshine is looking scared but not in the way I’ve been getting used to. He’ll be able to walk out of this alive short of them chaining him to the ground at sunrise. “Alright. Maybe we should all go to this meeting everyone keeps talking about,” Sunshine says calmly. To emphasize his change of strategy, he points the gun at my head. “I believe we all have a problem if he dies,” Sunshine explains. The Templar look at one another and one of them fades back into the shadows. We start moving to the exit and towards the hotel elevator. “Nothing personal Shade. But you’re human now and there are things bigger than us going on,” Sunshine says as we walk. He’s staying quiet about the Book and the concierge. That’s a good thing, for now. But for how long? The gun stays out of sight was we pass through the lobby but sneaks a peak during the elevator ride. The fear starts creeping up my spine but I’m used to it enough to know how to sit in the same room with my mortality. The key is to avoid talking to it. No one says a word as we ride up and I’m grateful. I’m about to attend a meeting where the parties can only agree on a couple of things. One, they resolve most of their disagreements with violence. Two, we’re about to discuss something they don’t agree on. Three, I’m the only person who can’t survive a cinder block to the face attending. So yeah, I’ll ask my growing sense of terror about all this a little bit later on.

Forgotten

2008-01-18T13:14:00.001-08:00

I have just enough time to admire the hallway carpet before we’re inside the room and everyone is getting acquainted. Malvolio’s lip curls when he sees Sunshine and he motions for guards to cover all the nearby windows. I might not survive a swan dive out the window but a vampire could. “The teachings of Nod do not begrudge the use of mortals as tools, even this lowly heathen. But you are…unclean,” says Malvolio. Sunshine keeps the gun trained on me but faces Malvolio. “Thanks, you smell like you could use some deodorant yourself,” Sunshine says back. I’m the only one smiling at the joke, oddly enough. Hell, there was a reason we had been friends back in the day. “What do you want?” Malvolio asks. “The same thing as you, pal. I want the Book,” Sunshine says. I can’t help but wonder why the only person who has a decent chance of perishing is suddenly the least amount of concern. “I am surprised someone of your lowly beliefs would deign to consider a mere book a threat. What will your lab dogs think?” Malvolio says. “Maybe I just want to prove it’s as big a load of shit as all the stuff you feed the poor kids you transform,” Sunshine says. Well, it didn’t take long for the guy with nothing to lose to call everyone liars. I’d be alarmed by the argument if it weren’t the exact same one the Enlightenment and the Guild of Nod have been having since Night one. I’m forced to remember that Sunshine’s only concern with coming up here is keeping the Nod Worshippers from finding out that the book is in the hotel safe. If he keeps talking so diplomatically, they might never find out. “By the way, I’m the only person here who knows where the Book is,” I remind everyone. Malvolio and Sunshine both turn to glare at me. Unbelievable. You become mortal and suddenly the religious nuts and the science freaks can’t be bothered to remember you exist. “And? I seem to recall the purpose of this meeting being information about the Paladins. Not the Book. Since you seem so ready to confess both, I will take that as well,” Malvolio replies. I’ve only got one chance at this. A cursory glance around the room shows Malvolio never even bothered to collect the money he was supposed to pay me. But there’s something I need to know first. A glance at the clock shows me I have five minutes until Ferris calls the Paladins and the light show starts.

Get the Book

2008-01-18T13:13:00.002-08:00

Sunshine isn’t happy with the way our dialogue is improving and decides to point the gun at Malvolio instead. Before anyone can speak I find myself mediating. “I think what we all need to do right now is calm down. Sunshine, we’re all very excited about your ability to use a Holy gun. But frankly, I’m over it. Don’t want things getting messy, after all. Not like last time, right Malvolio?” I say helpfully. Everyone stares at me like I just spoke in Chinese. Sunshine takes a few steps back and plants himself against the wall, gun still raised. Malvolio shrugs and seats himself on a couch. The Templar still stand at attention. Malvolio isn’t taking my hint. “Where’s that pet werewolf of yours? Figured you’d want him along to make sure I’m telling the truth. Like you did in the warehouse,” I say. He glares at me and only seems to be reflecting on how he is going to handle this situation. “He has gone missing. It is very unlike him, considering the consequences to his precious Den Mother and the werewolf bloodline should anything happen to her. I am sure he will turn up eventually. Besides, trust does not seem to be the primary issue at the moment,” said Malvolio while gesturing at an increasingly agitated Sunshine. The gun moved back to me. Damnit, Sunshine was making himself vulnerable with all this nonsense. Making me vulnerable. “Enough of this crap! We’re all here. All I need is to see the damn thing, okay? Just to make sure that it’s just…it’s just a fucking book! Maybe…” Sunshine says to no one in particular. Even I raise an eyebrow at that. “Maybe read a few passages and see if lightning shoots out your ass?” I ask. Malvolio impresses me with a snort. Sunshine glares at me. “Hey, you’re the one missing an arm that should’ve grown back after a few days,” I say. “The book is downstairs in the fucking safe. If Shade calls down there, we should be able to get it back up here without any trouble,” Sunshine says, ignoring me. Malvolio raises an eyebrow at this. “But how will we decide who gets to keep it? I am fully capable of believing books and words have power. But are you? Do you intend to fight for them?” Malvolio asked. Sunshine lowers his gun. He walks across the hotel room and hands me the phone. As I punch the lobby number, Ferris is supposedly doing the same to Mills.

Finished Puzzle

2008-01-18T13:13:00.001-08:00

I tell the Concierge to provide my friend with the huge physique, black jacket, and impolite attitude to please give the package wrapped in newspaper to him. “Ah yes, the current one in the safe?” the Concierge asks. “Yes, the current one. As opposed to the one sitting in some other goddamn hotel,” I reply and hang up. Sometimes I wondered what the hell people were thinking before they bothered to speak. A Templar leaves the room to go get the Book and we’re all suddenly tapping our knees waiting. I’d tried the cleverest openings I could think of and couldn’t even get him thinking about the same topic. “Seen much of Dingo? I just…back in the warehouse when you tricked me,” I start off. Keep dumb, keep flattering them. “When you sent Dingo to do that errand. When you sent him out the front door to ke-“ I say as meekly as possible. Malvolio cuts me off, “I have not seen your idiotic heathen since I sent him off either. He was supposed to repay the informant for the misinformation you obligingly cleared up for us. We had originally been told that copies of the book would work. When we discovered they would not, it seemed pertinent to keep the original. Dingo went out the back door to handle this and never returned. I had figured it all came down to our unfortunate retreat. Now you appear with information about the Book and your Enlightenment companion. So, you see, I am as interested in that little meeting with the informant and your friend as you seem to be,” says Malvolio. Everyone seems comfortable with the silence while we all wait for the Templar to come back except me. I’m still standing. The last few puzzle pieces fall into place so elegantly. An informant from the Paladins. Dingo went out a back door, not the front. They had been given the Book at first but lied to about the copies. The kid had seen someone go down that alley that he thought he should follow. He’d asked for my help. So Dingo had taken it after some kind of scuffle? I barely noticed that fifteen minutes had gone by since Ferris made the call. “Did you kill the kid in the alley?” I blurt out. There has to be some other explanation. “As with everything else you’ve said, I do not know what you are talking about,” Malvolio says dryly. The Templar knocked on the door and came back inside. “Sorry, some kind of fuss about the package. Did not think it appropriate to kill,” the Templar explained dryly. He hands the package to Malvolio who just looked at it. Before anyone could make a move Sunshine snatches it out off his hands. The gun was raised again. He tore the newspaper wrapping off with his teeth, but only got half-way through. He dropped the rest to the floor. Amidst the torn newspaper and disheveled pages, was a phonebook.

Blessed Gunfire

2008-01-18T13:12:00.000-08:00

The first thing that popped into my head was that everything is a lie. The second thing that popped into my head was that I had not known I was lying when I told it. So what does that make it? The third…I’m not sure. I think someone hit me by that point. Sunshine screamed, literally screamed, “What the fuck are you doing?” at Malvolio. He, in his part, seemed eager to point out the possible part I had played. A Templar smashed me across the face and grabbed my arm. There was a fucking informant. The kid had followed them behind the alley. “Why would I bother to lie about a heathen book to you, of all people? There is no science here! There is no logic! The Word of Nod speaks of such texts, yet you do not acknowledge his wisdom. What do I have to hide from scum like you?” Malvolio shouted. The Templars rushed Sunshine but his vampire reflexes were as sharp as ever. The gun fired. The bullet didn’t hit the intended target but the Templar it connected with dropped to the floor with a disturbing thud to everyone except me. The kid had texted me for help. He followed the informant. He sees them with Dingo, arguing over the book. And for whatever fucking reason, he intervenes. Maybe the Book just had a way of bringing that out in people. The gun doesn’t stay in Sunshine’s hand long as Malvolio smashes it across the floor. The Templars should have no trouble getting the drop on a one armed vampire. The Templar holding my arm slackens his grip as he moves to join into the fray. “HEATHEN! I SMITE THEE!” shouts Malvolio. It would’ve been convincing, but the window exploding behind him with gunfire took a lot of the steam away. I drop to the floor and start crawling towards the door as a squad of Paladins on cables rappelled into the room, guns blazing. I have to admit, I didn’t think there name was so stupid anymore. The vampires hardly stood a chance against the waves of blessed bullets criss-crossing the room. This wasn’t over yet for me though. As I rolled myself out the door, I saw Sunshine clutching at his chest while blood pooled out across his clothes as he was forced to die. Our eyes met. I got the impression he didn’t want me to see him like that.

Packing Up

2008-01-18T13:11:00.002-08:00

The first miracle I ever believed was that I had walked out of that room without being hurt. I managed to run down the stairs without being stopped and see the Concierge. He was frantic on the phone and his eyes bulged at the sight of me. “I’m sure you must think some strange things about me right now, but I need a cab,” I shout to drown out the phone. It sounds like he’s talking to the police. He points to the street outside and I see cabs parked and ready to take people. She normally stayed at the Paladin’s headquarters but there was no way she’d go back there now. I gave the cabbie directions to my apartment and wondered if I was too late. If this guess was as wrong as all the other ones I’d made, would I still be lost? And at the same time, I find myself hoping it is. I hope she’s not there, that I don’t have to see this. That I’m wrong about the whole thing. I walk in the door of my apartment and there she is. Her back is to me. There’s an unfamiliar suitcase on the floor. Her shoulders tense as the doors open but she still doesn’t turn around. “You’re back a bit early,” she says stiffly. And suddenly I snap. I don’t know how all that sadness and terror turned into anger, but suddenly I want to strangle her. I’m just not used to the emotions. “And a bit not dead. Pretty sharp stuff, going in there with me. Making it so the Concierge knew we were lovers. Then switching the books. Pretty sharp, and pretty good at getting me out of the way,” I say curtly. Ferris turns, cigarette in hand. She’s getting hit with accusations but for some reason I’m the one whose shaking. “Shade, there was no way I could risk the Vampires getting their hands on the Book. You cou-“ she says. “Spare me the bullshit. I know about the informant. I know what happened in that alley. I know you got the kid killed,” I say.

The Whole Thing

2008-01-18T13:11:00.001-08:00

“What are you talking about?” Ferris demands. I close the door behind me and reach into my pocket. There’s nothing in there but cigarettes and my cellphone. I reach for one but come out with the other. I light up a cigarette. “The Book. I’m going to guess it’s somewhere nicely tucked in that suitcase. And it’s not on the way back to the Paladins of Light either. You’re taking it back to your own people. To the Werewolves,” I say hotly. Ferris’ eyes narrow but she’s still puffing away without a shake. I smoke back at her. “But first you needed alibis. You needed the blame to fall squarely on the very vampires you were going to start killing yourself. Even now, Malvolio and Sunshine are getting a firsthand experience with being dead. It’d be a two-front war for them, the Enlightenment and the Guild of Nod tearing away while the Paladins pick off the survivors. All still hunting for the Book. You convinced Dingo to take the Book and tell them they just need copies so they’ll give it back. Give the Book to your own kind and you’ve got a perfect war for the wolves. Except for one tiny detail. You got spotted red handed. Things got tricky for the deal, didn’t it? After they found out copies of the book wouldn’t work, suddenly Dingo didn’t want to just hand it over like before. He went out the back door, and you walked over to meet him in the alley. And the kid spotted you. He followed you down that alley, texted me for help, and then stepped in. He had to get that book back. That’s when things got messy. Because since he’d seen you with Dingo, he had to go. In the struggle he manages to get the box, Dingo gets the book, and suddenly you’ve got a lot more explaining to do. So you cuddle up with me and keep things moving along until I find it,” I say. I have to suck in a breath, I’ve been shouting so much. Her hands are shaking a little bit now. “Shade…I didn’t want to hurt him. Or you. By Fenrir…I even asked you to come with me! To leave this place! It’s not like I can go back to being a werewolf! But I have to help my people!” she shouts. The cigarette falls from her hand like the confession from her lips, both sitting on the floor in front of us. “We can just say the Book was always a fake, that the real one is still out there somewhere. Please Shade, lets just do this together,” she pleads. I found myself wishing that we could.

Final Play

2008-01-18T13:10:00.000-08:00

“Ferris, I want to. I really do. You and me, together. Fighting the Bad Guys, helping the persecuted. But the thing that’s been bugging me about being mortal, the thing I just wanted to get over with from the get go…is death. That it exists now. Sure, I could die before when I was a vampire. But I also didn’t have to, not if I took care of myself and avoided the sunlight. But that’s not really what’s so bad, because that’s easy to forget. Having to die is something your brain just stops thinking about. It’s that my friends have to die too. That’s why death is so terrible. It’s the end of the show. That’s the one person who will ever be that person in your life. The jokes, the advice, the way they laughed and received it. The show you put on for them and the audience they were for you. That’s it. Once they’re gone, it’s over. There are no replacements, no one who can do it quite the same way. That kid…looked up to me. And now he’s gone. That has to mean something. There has to be something I believe in for that. That I defend. I don’t know if he’s going to Heaven, I don’t know if he’s rotting in the ground. But he’s gone now. And I have to show him that I miss him,” I say. Ferris is just shaking her head. There are a few tears in her eyes, the guilt and anger building up and bursting forth. “Damnit Shade! I’m here. I’m still alive. I’m sorry but there was no way that kid could’ve understood. There’s no way you could understand. Being a slave to some blood sucking freak, everyone you know taking orders. What do you do when your own faith, when Fenrir himself, tells you that your doomed if you don’t do something? This Book was sent to help us! Please don’t do this!” she asks. I watch her hands as she reaches towards the bag. Her gun is probably in there. Maybe it really is time to get the damn suspense over with. See how the show ends for me. It’s not like my audience is going to get much bigger. But I figure I owe it to her to show the final card before I check out. I pull the cell phone out of my pocket and throw it on the floor. The speaker phone is on, the screen says ‘Connected…Mills’. “It’s already done,” I say.

Little Detail

2008-01-18T13:09:00.000-08:00

She just stares for a moment before her hand goes back to her lap. We don’t say anything. Hell, I don’t even know if Mills was bothering to listen. But he sure as hell traced it and followed me here. I know because I can already hear cars pulling up, boots hitting the street. The scene is over. “There’s one little thing. Oh, you figured it all out. Nailed it on the head. But there’s just one little detail about your kid. No one thought you needed to know it but…we found you both on the same night. Interrupted something, you could say. He was barely alive when we took him back. It was a miracle he became a Vampire Falcon, but surviving you was just as impressive,” she says. And suddenly it’s all just too much. Being alive is just too damn much. I hear Mills shouting and voices coming closer to the door. I think about the kid asking me if we’d ever find who bit him. Who dragged him into this whole crappy world. When they kick the door open there’s a gust of air and it almost feels like it’s going to knock me over. The Paladins rush in but I just stare at the floor. I think about yelling at the kid for not sucking blood. For not murdering people to become stronger. Guns are all on Ferris. It looks like Mills was listening after all. They drag her out and she’s quiet the whole way. There isn’t much left to say between us anyhow. I think about the kid wanting to be strong like me. The room settles and without thinking I walk over to her suitcase. I find the Book inside. “Shade…is that it?” Mills asks behind me. I stare at it, what the kid died for. What I’ve been chasing after this whole time, what all these damn assholes have been killing and smashing to get their hands on. I think about the kid crying about not wanting to be a Vampire Falcon. And suddenly all I can truly believe is that I’m no better than the rest of them. “Shade, what is that?” Mills asks again. I shake my head, handing the Book over to him. “The stuff that faith is made of Mills. The stuff that faith is made of,” I say.